To give yourself and your spouse an unforgettable Valentine’s gift with far-reaching implications, follow these ten steps. But the positive effect of these tips on your marriage can be enjoyed year round and valentine’s s Day candy is soon gone.

The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. Energy can give one of the most precious gifts possible – an improved, satisfying marriage while many spouses focus on Valentine’s Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time.

This marriage enriching gift will still be appreciated and enjoyed and long after the romantic card is tucked away and the box of candy is empty. Follow these ten steps to give yourself and your spouse an unforgettable Valentine’s Day gift:

1. Direct your energy into becoming the kind of marriage partner you would like to have. It’s easy to criticize a spouse for not being perfect while we overlook our own imperfections.

2. Focus on how you need to change in order to be a better partner. The only person you can ultimately change is yourself.

3. For your own actions accept responsibility. You take a giant leap forward in growth the day you can say, I’m sorry for my actions instead of rationalizing and offering excuses.

4. Minimize Resentment and blame. They are toxic and can poison your marriage and your life.

5. Practice forgiveness, not to let your partner off the hook, but because you want to move forward without carrying the weight of past hurts.

6. Begin taking action and break your marriage goals down into small steps. Itíll be easier to continue moving forward when you start seeing progress.

7. “Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” – adopt the philosophy expressed in the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me serenity to accept what I cannot change.

8. And give instead of keeping tabs about who is doing the most or making the greatest effort in your marriage and focus on what you can do.

9) Strive for balance in your own life between family, friends, work, sports, hobbies, recreation, and other interests. Then you won’t be as likely to obsess about the imperfections in your partner.

10) Reward and praise yourself often for hanging in there in a challenging situation. You deserve it!

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Dr. Max Vogt