A woman named Tia wrote me from a small town in Ecuador

"Dr. Max, help.  We've been married a year.  My husband has moved back in with his mother.  His mother never liked me.  She told him she would commit suicide if he didn't move back in with her."

Tia had yelled, cajoled, begged.  Nothing changed.

Her husband was under an unbreakable spell.

A very convenient one.

He didn't want to grow up and his mother had given him a perfect excuse.

This is obvious…

What's not so obvious in more "urban, sophisticated" situations like yours is that the same thing is happening.

It may be you who is going back to mother, falling under the spell, or it may be your spouse.

You might be male or female.  It doesn't matter.

Men get accused of being "boys" but just as many women are "girls."

A lot of people don't want to grow up.

They want excuses to stay a child.

Look around you and you'll see it's true.

Or look in the mirror.

And before you go calling your spouse a child, remember:

A perfect example of being a child is calling someone else a child.

Adults make choice, they don't around and say "if only…"

"If only things were different."

That's what children think. 

Adults think, "how can I make a change?"

"What can I do to change this situation?"

It involves choices, and then developing skills and courage.

I told Tia she had three choices

1. Wait for her husband to grow up.
2. Go find a man.
3. Live without a man and find her own way.

You have another choice.

That's fortunate for you because you're not in Tia's situation.

That choice is "invite both you and your spouse to grow up."

How?

You have to learn how to communicate.

Communication is the essence of being an adult.

The right kind of communication, that is.

It's a matter of skill and practice.

The right kind of skill and practice.

If you are ready to grow up and communicate, I made this for you

Click here for Communication Secrets

http://www.NowYouCanCommunicate.com

-Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce