Resentment

April 18, 2010

How to heal old wounds in your marriage


Everyone has them.

Old wounds from experiences you've had in your marriage.

Show me someone who is completely unscathed – who has never felt resentment, betrayal, disappointment or disloyalty in their marriage.

Show me this person and I'll show you someone who is in a hypnotic trance.

The rest of us are aware of suffering and pain… it may be very "low grade" but it's still there.

It still colors our decisions.

It still affects us.

And for many people – maybe you – if things just got "a little worse" you'd start thinking it was time to bail on the marriage.

Don't let it get that far.

It's fairly easy to turn things around with some basic skills taught by a seasoned professional.

That's why I made this for you

Go there and get immediate help before things get worse.

I get it, now let me help

-Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

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February 5, 2010

For Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage here are 10 Valentines Day Tips.


To give yourself and your spouse an unforgettable Valentine’s gift with far-reaching implications, follow these ten steps. But the positive effect of these tips on your marriage can be enjoyed year round and valentine’s s Day candy is soon gone.

The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. Energy can give one of the most precious gifts possible – an improved, satisfying marriage while many spouses focus on Valentine’s Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time.

This marriage enriching gift will still be appreciated and enjoyed and long after the romantic card is tucked away and the box of candy is empty. Follow these ten steps to give yourself and your spouse an unforgettable Valentine’s Day gift:

1. Direct your energy into becoming the kind of marriage partner you would like to have. It’s easy to criticize a spouse for not being perfect while we overlook our own imperfections.

2. Focus on how you need to change in order to be a better partner. The only person you can ultimately change is yourself.

3. For your own actions accept responsibility. You take a giant leap forward in growth the day you can say, I’m sorry for my actions instead of rationalizing and offering excuses.

4. Minimize Resentment and blame. They are toxic and can poison your marriage and your life.

5. Practice forgiveness, not to let your partner off the hook, but because you want to move forward without carrying the weight of past hurts.

6. Begin taking action and break your marriage goals down into small steps. Itíll be easier to continue moving forward when you start seeing progress.

7. “Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” – adopt the philosophy expressed in the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me serenity to accept what I cannot change.

8. And give instead of keeping tabs about who is doing the most or making the greatest effort in your marriage and focus on what you can do.

9) Strive for balance in your own life between family, friends, work, sports, hobbies, recreation, and other interests. Then you won’t be as likely to obsess about the imperfections in your partner.

10) Reward and praise yourself often for hanging in there in a challenging situation. You deserve it!

Click here for more marriage advice from Dr. Max

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