Experts say that self-motivation is one of the most important factors for somebody to live a good life. It is just so unfortunate that not many people have innate means of motivating themselves that is why many of them just give up and live a remorseful life filled with negative things.

Many people still don’t realize that problems would be a constant factor in their lives. And because of this inability to understand and accept certain situations, people just give up the chance to a better life. Experts say that problems are the number one factor that kills the people’s desire to be motivated. This is because due to so many problems, many people think that it is useless for them to put on a fight since they will only taste defeat later on.

DEALING WITH PROBLEMS THROUGH SELF-MOTIVATION

However, although experiencing problems indeed discourages people to want more things in life, this should not be enough reason just to let the chance of living a better life go. If you think that many problems hinder your process to self-motivation, here are some of the things that might help you realize how self-motivation itself can help you get over problems:

1. Let the past go. Experts say that the first step to deal with problem through self-motivation is by learning to let go of the past. This is because if you already accepted that there are things that are beyond your control, you will be able to forgive yourself and start anew. If you just keep thinking of the past, this will serve as a reminder of your failure. And if you keep thinking about your defeat, you will undergo a never ending cycle of blaming yourself for the things that you did not really opted to do.

If you want to start with self-motivation, try to finish each day and forgive yourself for the things that you were not able to finish or accomplish today. If you were able to do that, you will look forward to a new day and new opportunities that will come along your way.

2. Try to run your own race by setting your own pace. Although it is sometimes healthy to be competitive in terms of achieving goals, there would always be times when you will get tired of running after so many things because you don’t want other people to finish before you. More often than not, people who compare themselves with others are the ones who are left behind without anything because they spend too much time thinking how can they outlast the other person, thus, neglecting his or her own priorities.

To maximize self-motivation to its fullest, it is best if you run a race at your own pace so you won’t get tired. This will also be beneficial for you because you can rest whenever you want to since nobody is breathing down your neck to finish something.

3. Always take one step ahead. To be able to continuously motivate one’s self despite so many problems, it is always best to take one step ahead of things. Meaning, you need to plan ahead and do things ahead of time so you will be given more opportunity or chance in case the first plan did not work.

Taking and thinking one step ahead are the best foundations of self-motivation because if you were able to develop these, it would be easier for you to take tougher and bigger problems or challenges along the way.

Some friends just celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary.

They seem very happy with each other… but who really knows?

Over the years in my practice and in my own personal life I’ve met a lot of people who stayed together in marrige for a long long time.

I’d have to say that these “long-time marrieds” fall into three categories.

1. Those who truly love each other and keep the fire of passion and interest alive. They are together because they truly want to be.

My parents were like that.

2. People who stay together because they think they should, it’s the right thing to do… but are either bored to tears with their marriage relationship or have turned it into something “irrelevant” like a form of hygiene, not particularly pleasant but not so terrible either.

3. People who truly don’t want to be together but are afraid of the consequences of breaking up.

Now I know people admire long marriages and celebrate the number of years like that is an accomplishment.

Personally options 2 and 3 are completely unacceptable to me… although I can see the values behind #2.

Number 3 seems like a dismal life.

Boldness in life is rare.

I say if you are going to be married give it all you have and turn it into a really great thing.

What’s the sense of being married if you don’t truly enjoy it or are miserable?

Convenience?

I think we can do better than that.

I believe in great marriage.

How about you?

To your great relationship future,

Dr. Max

Is your spouse “stubborn?”

Whenever there is something tough to talk about, or you have a legitimate problem to talk about, does he (I’ll use “he” for simplicity here) just

- fold his arms, or
- look away, or
- get that “out of here” look on is face, or
- walk out of the room, or
- “explain away everything, or
- turn it right back on you, or or or …

People can get creative about this

Of course we know this is an absolute roadblock to going any further.

It’s like you are driving on a road going somewhere you really need to be and you see a sign that says “bridge out ahead.”

It’s like you are driving on a road going somewhere you need to be and there’s a rockslide or a mudslide which stops all traffic…

It’s, well, frustrating as hell!

Listen.

There are answers.

There are ways around this “roadblock.”

I’ll be talking about some of those ways soon.

For right now I just wanted to say “I get it.”

I know you and I know what you are going through…

To your great relationship future,
Dr. Max

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