Marriage Counseling News: Bringing You All the Best Marriage Counseling and Relationship Advice » Quot http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com Marriage Counseling Approaches to Enhance Your Marriage | Different Approaches of Marriage Counseling Save Your Marriage and Lead to a Very Satisfying Relationship Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:30:02 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 7 Ways To Fuel Your Hatred for Your Husband (Cheat Sheet) http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/05/02/7-ways-to-fuel-your-hatred-for-your-husband-cheat-sheet/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/05/02/7-ways-to-fuel-your-hatred-for-your-husband-cheat-sheet/#comments Mon, 02 May 2011 17:43:39 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/05/02/7-ways-to-fuel-your-hatred-for-your-husband-cheat-sheet/

These are the top seven ways to fuel your hatred for men, and for your husband in particular.  If you're looking for a really good, quick and effective method to achieve this goal, you've come to the right place.

All of these methods will help to fuel your hatred or at least your ability to dismiss men.  Use them all at one time if you want to be especially effective.

1. Talk to your man-hating friends about your husband.  This is the most effective and fastest way to fuel your hatred for your husband – and for all men while you're at it.  The great thing about this one is that you get lots of quick and very specific information about how useless, mean and ridiculous men really are.  Your man-hating friends will give you lots of examples that you can immediately apply to men you know, and specifically to your husband. 

2. Watch network television and see how men are portrayed.  Men are universally portrayed in the media as incompetent, childish, bungling, shallow, insensitive and aggressive.  If you want a real primer on how to hate men, you don't need to go any farther than watching the Dr. Phil show where the Champ of Men Haters will always go after the man in a relationship for his failings.

3. Read women's magazines and support your views that men are shallow, only want sex and that they are easily tricked into doing anything you want them to do.  When you try those "Never Fail Bedroom Tricks That Drive Men Wild Every Time," and your husband doesn't respond exactly how the magazine describes they will, you've got foolproof information that your husband is impossible, since the magazine clearly demonstrates that real men will respond to these methods every time.

4. Believe the myth that men are bad at relationships.  This one is great because no one can dispel it.  All you have to do is point out the ways that your husband forgets little things that are so important to you and clearly doesn't really care for you or think about you.  You can gather data to support the conclusion that men are bad at relationships day in and day out.  This really helps your cause of fueling your hatred for your husband.

5. Focus on every little thing he does wrong with the kids, with you.  Part of this is demonstrating to your own satisfaction that he's bad at relationships, but you can go much farther with this if you use a little creativity. Surely there are all kinds of ways you can point out that he over-punishes the children, doesn't understand them, says inappropriate things with them, with you, with your family and with your friends.  You can make a huge list of the things he said he was going to do but never got around to.

6. Confuse him with contradictory requests for strength and sensitivity and then make a conclusion that he's confused.  On the one hand you definitely want him to be a strong man.  On the other, you definitely want him to be sensitive. It's very important never to give him enough information to act on either one of those parts of his character.  

For example, when you're feeling like you just want to be held, make sure you never tell him that, so you can conclude that if he really loved you, he would know that.  Then you can sit there and fume at him for being an insensitive brute.

Or let's say that some guy cuts in front of you in line while you and your husband are at the grocery store and he doesn't confront the guy (and neither do you).  Then you can think "what a wimp my husband is" and quietly conclude he's not doing his job as a man.

Above all, always make sure never to give him enough information so he can't know what you are wanting from him.  You can always know inside that if he really loved you, he would already know, and because you're sure that at some time you told him what you wanted, now he's just being a stubborn man who never listens.  This kills two birds with one stone.

7.  Prove to yourself that men are "children" by finding ways he is not as responsible as he should be, and that instead of meeting his obligations he's always looking for ways to go play instead.  I'm sure you can find a lot of examples of that.  

And fortunately this move kills many birds with one stone, because at the same time you're concluding (and talking to your man-hating friends who are also concluding) that men are just children and only want to go play and never meet their responsibilities, you can at the same time point out that he never wants to go dancing, hang out romantically with you or do any other fun thing, because he's truly just turned into a stick in the mud.

It is my professional opinion that if you will practice at least one of these seven activities per day (preferably more) you will definitely throw fuel on the fire of your hatred for men, specifically for your husband.

- Dr. Max
(c) Dr. Max Vogt

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Dr. Max Vogt

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]]> http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/05/02/7-ways-to-fuel-your-hatred-for-your-husband-cheat-sheet/feed/ 0 Marriage Counseling for Infidelity http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/04/26/marriage-counseling-for-infidelity/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/04/26/marriage-counseling-for-infidelity/#comments Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:23:36 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/?p=1907

From time to time I like to include posts from other sources, bloggers or news sources I think are important.  Here are a few I've been looking at recently.  Couple of experts and then a person going marriage counseling infidelitythrough the fallout of infidelity after a year.  What would you advise?

Infidelity Expert Says Happy Husbands Cheat Too | The Houston Exponent

In an infidelity study published earlier this year in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 75% of the cheating husbands who were questioned, said they did NOT have “lots of marital problems” prior to their affair. …

Publish Date: 04/15/2011 9:54

http://www.houstonexponent.com/infidelity-expert-says-happy-husbands-cheat-too/

Challenges Dealing With Infidelity — After-The-Affair

He practices marriage counseling in Portland, OR at the Portland Couples Counseling Center. http://www.marriage-and-relationship-counseling.com/marriage-counseling-portland-oregon.html. For information about how to choose a Relationship …

Publish Date: 04/18/2011 18:25

http://after-the-affair.info/challenges-dealing-with-infidelity

Almost a year : Where am I? – Talk About Marriage

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity. …. Planning a conversation with some else to talk through marriage issues or any issues would be "financially stupid" according to her. As much as I would like her to get rid of some of her stress and then have her come to a realization of "I want to be with him, I can't believe I almost lost him. ….. Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email: …

Publish Date: 04/25/2011 9:10

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24662-almost-year-where-am-i.html

For more information about how to THRIVE after an affair, take a look at this Suriviving After An Affair.

Take care,

Dr. Max

Dr. Max Vogt

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]]> http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/04/26/marriage-counseling-for-infidelity/feed/ 0 The importance of rapid improvement in your marriage http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/03/29/the-importance-of-rapid-improvement-in-your-marriage/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/03/29/the-importance-of-rapid-improvement-in-your-marriage/#comments Tue, 29 Mar 2011 14:36:28 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/03/29/the-importance-of-rapid-improvement-in-your-marriage/

Patience may be a virtue but it can also cause more problems.

Most of the time when things are going wrong in your marriage, it's bad to wait.

What happens is that small things build up and accumulate.

Maybe something that's "no big deal" right now becomes a big deal tomorrow.

You let something go, a comment about your in-laws.

Maybe a little flirtation you saw your husband have with a woman.

Maybe a parenting question.

You let it go because you don't want to fight.

But at the same time, it sticks in your craw.

But what are you supposed to do about it, fight about everything?

NO.

What you are supposed to do about it is to have a plan to deal with things NOW.

Something simple and quick and easy.

Something you understand.

Something which is not therapist gobbledegook.

But at the same time is solid professional help.

That's why I made Ten Days to Save Your Marriage.

You can use it five minutes from now.

Here's where to find it.

Bless you and yours,

- Dr. Max

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Dr. Max Vogt

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]]> http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/03/29/the-importance-of-rapid-improvement-in-your-marriage/feed/ 0 How much energy have you wasted in your marriage? http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/02/10/how-much-energy-have-you-wasted-in-your-marriage/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/02/10/how-much-energy-have-you-wasted-in-your-marriage/#comments Thu, 10 Feb 2011 15:33:02 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/02/10/how-much-energy-have-you-wasted-in-your-marriage/

How much has the energy in your relationship been wasted?

How much time have you spent in disappointment?

Maybe disagreements, fighting, feeling betrayed?

Feeling misunderstood?

Thinking "if only" my partner would do this or that..

Wondering if you'd be happier with someone else?

Trying to figure out if you are happy or CAN be happy with your partner?

All of that is dissipation of energy.

It's a waste of good, pure, valuable energy.

Instead, turn ALL that energy toward following the Prescribed Way.

THAT leads to happiness and wellbeing.

There is no other way to be truly happy in marriage.

If you are ready to discover the way of happiness…

If you are ready to stop wasting energy in your marriage…

Start here

- Dr. Max

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Dr. Max Vogt

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]]> http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2011/02/10/how-much-energy-have-you-wasted-in-your-marriage/feed/ 0 Will you go on a crusade for your marriage? (or are you just posing?) http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/29/will-you-go-on-a-crusade-for-your-marriage-or-are-you-just-posing/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/29/will-you-go-on-a-crusade-for-your-marriage-or-are-you-just-posing/#comments Mon, 29 Mar 2010 15:49:06 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/29/will-you-go-on-a-crusade-for-your-marriage-or-are-you-just-posing/

Most married people say they value marriage.

But they don't act like it.

They throw their spouse under the bus every day.

They don't really defend their spouse against all comers.

They aren't loyal.

If you really believe in marriage, in your marriage, it's time to awaken from your slumbers…

and go on an all out crusade.

The reason you are stuck is because you aren't really committed.

You won't go all out for your marriage.

If and only if you are ready to go all out for your marriage….

to go on a crusade for what's right and holy and good…

go here

CouplesCoach

http://www.CouplesCoach.com

"Live well, do well and be well"

-Dr. Max

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]]> http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/29/will-you-go-on-a-crusade-for-your-marriage-or-are-you-just-posing/feed/ 0 She’s a woman, he’s a boy http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/16/shes-a-woman-hes-a-boy/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/16/shes-a-woman-hes-a-boy/#comments Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:39:01 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/16/shes-a-woman-hes-a-boy/

A woman named Tia wrote me from a small town in Ecuador

"Dr. Max, help.  We've been married a year.  My husband has moved back in with his mother.  His mother never liked me.  She told him she would commit suicide if he didn't move back in with her."

Tia had yelled, cajoled, begged.  Nothing changed.

Her husband was under an unbreakable spell.

A very convenient one.

He didn't want to grow up and his mother had given him a perfect excuse.

This is obvious…

What's not so obvious in more "urban, sophisticated" situations like yours is that the same thing is happening.

It may be you who is going back to mother, falling under the spell, or it may be your spouse.

You might be male or female.  It doesn't matter.

Men get accused of being "boys" but just as many women are "girls."

A lot of people don't want to grow up.

They want excuses to stay a child.

Look around you and you'll see it's true.

Or look in the mirror.

And before you go calling your spouse a child, remember:

A perfect example of being a child is calling someone else a child.

Adults make choice, they don't around and say "if only…"

"If only things were different."

That's what children think. 

Adults think, "how can I make a change?"

"What can I do to change this situation?"

It involves choices, and then developing skills and courage.

I told Tia she had three choices

1. Wait for her husband to grow up.
2. Go find a man.
3. Live without a man and find her own way.

You have another choice.

That's fortunate for you because you're not in Tia's situation.

That choice is "invite both you and your spouse to grow up."

How?

You have to learn how to communicate.

Communication is the essence of being an adult.

The right kind of communication, that is.

It's a matter of skill and practice.

The right kind of skill and practice.

If you are ready to grow up and communicate, I made this for you

Click here for Communication Secrets

http://www.NowYouCanCommunicate.com

-Dr. Max

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Dr. Max Vogt

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]]> http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/16/shes-a-woman-hes-a-boy/feed/ 0 Are Dads Better at Parenting? http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/13/are-dads-better-at-parenting/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/13/are-dads-better-at-parenting/#comments Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:56:31 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/13/are-dads-better-at-parenting/

Well this is a provocative book

Warren Farrell's "Father and Child Reunion"

If you are prepared to have your eyes opened to things you never suspected ("dads are better at teaching their children empathy") and much more you might never imagine to be true about fathers in relationship to their children, I recommend the read.

Based on 13 years of research, not just opinion.

You might end up throwing the book across the room, but you'll go back and pick it up again if only to find more things to argue with.

Just don't throw the book at me!  I didn't write it!  :-)

-Dr. Max

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Dr. Max Vogt

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]]> http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/13/are-dads-better-at-parenting/feed/ 0 More than Dubious Honor: Jamie Jungers Wins Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/11/more-than-dubious-honor-jamie-jungers-wins-tiger-woods-mistress-beauty-pageant/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/11/more-than-dubious-honor-jamie-jungers-wins-tiger-woods-mistress-beauty-pageant/#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:43:46 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/11/more-than-dubious-honor-jamie-jungers-wins-tiger-woods-mistress-beauty-pageant/

Jamie Jungers won the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant on the "Howard Stern Show" this morning. The winning alleged mistress earned $75,000 for her championship performance, and listeners were treated to juicy tidbits from Jungers, Jaimee Grubbs and Loredana Jolie.

As usual our culture celebrates the worst among us

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Dr. Max Vogt

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]]> http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/03/11/more-than-dubious-honor-jamie-jungers-wins-tiger-woods-mistress-beauty-pageant/feed/ 0 The Blessing of a Great Marriage http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/02/23/the-blessing-of-a-great-marriage/ http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/02/23/the-blessing-of-a-great-marriage/#comments Tue, 23 Feb 2010 13:50:34 +0000 Dr. Max Vogt http://www.marriagecounselingcafe.com/2010/02/23/the-blessing-of-a-great-marriage/

"When the pressures and demands of the world around you seem unmanageable and far too heavy, it's a blessing to have a great marriage" – Dr. Max www.CouplesCoach.com

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Dr. Max Vogt

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