A woman named Tia wrote me from a small town in Ecuador

"Dr. Max, help.  We've been married a year.  My husband has moved back in with his mother.  His mother never liked me.  She told him she would commit suicide if he didn't move back in with her."

Tia had yelled, cajoled, begged.  Nothing changed.

Her husband was under an unbreakable spell.

A very convenient one.

He didn't want to grow up and his mother had given him a perfect excuse.

This is obvious…

What's not so obvious in more "urban, sophisticated" situations like yours is that the same thing is happening.

It may be you who is going back to mother, falling under the spell, or it may be your spouse.

You might be male or female.  It doesn't matter.

Men get accused of being "boys" but just as many women are "girls."

A lot of people don't want to grow up.

They want excuses to stay a child.

Look around you and you'll see it's true.

Or look in the mirror.

And before you go calling your spouse a child, remember:

A perfect example of being a child is calling someone else a child.

Adults make choice, they don't around and say "if only…"

"If only things were different."

That's what children think. 

Adults think, "how can I make a change?"

"What can I do to change this situation?"

It involves choices, and then developing skills and courage.

I told Tia she had three choices

1. Wait for her husband to grow up.
2. Go find a man.
3. Live without a man and find her own way.

You have another choice.

That's fortunate for you because you're not in Tia's situation.

That choice is "invite both you and your spouse to grow up."

How?

You have to learn how to communicate.

Communication is the essence of being an adult.

The right kind of communication, that is.

It's a matter of skill and practice.

The right kind of skill and practice.

If you are ready to grow up and communicate, I made this for you

Click here for Communication Secrets

http://www.NowYouCanCommunicate.com

-Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

A lot of people think they can "slide" on their marriage.

They think that problems will just "eventually go away" or "after the kids are gone things will be better" or "If it gets too bad, I'll just leave and meet someone new."

Here's a dose of reality.

None of that is going to happen.

It's not going to get better "later."

You may leave the marriage and find someone new, but it's going to be the same situation with them.

The problems – and the solutions – are right there at home.

They are literally staring back at you in the mirror.

You think that your partner is the problem.

Wrong.  You are the problem.

Now you may think I'm wrong, but I'm not.

The problem is that you can't communicate.

So now it's time to decide whether to get your communication skills in order or…

Die unhappy and unsatisfied when you come to the end of your life.

Do you think things are tough now?

Then try getting old with no one there to comfort you.

Or feeling like no one truly understands you or cares for you.

Try living the single life.

Look, it's time to choose.  Improve your marriage or die alone.

There's really only one way to improve your relationship and that is to learn how to communicate the right way.

Anyone who says "well marriage just isn't that important to me…"  -  now you know what that means.  They have given up.

Anyone who makes a sick joke about marriage is headed for absolute solitude and a sad ending.

People in great relationships get it.  They get the rewards, and they know how sacred it is.

If you want to get it, you have to see how important marriage is and put in an effort to communicate.

Time slips by.

You have maybe one more chance, now take it.

http://www.NowYouCanCommunicate.com

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that marriage is not that important.

Just think how relieved you will feel when you see your relationship improve… because you know how to communicate better.

Ahhhhh, so much better.

That's why I created this for you

And I want you to take it for a test drive by clicking here:

http://www.NowYouCanCommunicate.com

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce