http://www.nowyoucancommunicate.com “I will help.” – Dr. Max Marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage communication, love sex and marriage, affairs, in-law problems, stop your divorce, I will help More on Open Letter To Those Who Feel Marriage Isn’t That Important

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http://www.couplescoach.com “I will help.” – Dr. Max Marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage communication, love sex and marriage, affairs, in-law problems, stop your divorce, I will help More on Marriage Danger Signs Which You Must Pay Attention to Now

It’s certainly not just about candy and sweet cards. Here’s a whole different approach which will help your marriage a lot

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To give yourself and your spouse an unforgettable Valentine’s gift with far-reaching implications, follow these ten steps. But the positive effect of these tips on your marriage can be enjoyed year round and valentine’s s Day candy is soon gone.

The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. Energy can give one of the most precious gifts possible – an improved, satisfying marriage while many spouses focus on Valentine’s Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time.

This marriage enriching gift will still be appreciated and enjoyed and long after the romantic card is tucked away and the box of candy is empty. Follow these ten steps to give yourself and your spouse an unforgettable Valentine’s Day gift:

1. Direct your energy into becoming the kind of marriage partner you would like to have. It’s easy to criticize a spouse for not being perfect while we overlook our own imperfections.

2. Focus on how you need to change in order to be a better partner. The only person you can ultimately change is yourself.

3. For your own actions accept responsibility. You take a giant leap forward in growth the day you can say, I’m sorry for my actions instead of rationalizing and offering excuses.

4. Minimize Resentment and blame. They are toxic and can poison your marriage and your life.

5. Practice forgiveness, not to let your partner off the hook, but because you want to move forward without carrying the weight of past hurts.

6. Begin taking action and break your marriage goals down into small steps. Itíll be easier to continue moving forward when you start seeing progress.

7. “Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” – adopt the philosophy expressed in the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me serenity to accept what I cannot change.

8. And give instead of keeping tabs about who is doing the most or making the greatest effort in your marriage and focus on what you can do.

9) Strive for balance in your own life between family, friends, work, sports, hobbies, recreation, and other interests. Then you won’t be as likely to obsess about the imperfections in your partner.

10) Reward and praise yourself often for hanging in there in a challenging situation. You deserve it!

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Love and marriage may go together like a horse and carriage but sometimes they become unhitched. Marriage without love is like a carriage without a horse…one without the other is not going anywhere. Perhaps your marriage is suffering a severe lack of love and you’re thinking about mounting the nearest available horse and getting the heck out of marriageville.

Wait! Maybe you and your spouse should seek counseling…or better yet be your own counselor.It can be done but it demands a saturated plan of action from both the spouse.

Most couples, in time of trouble, resort to their basic instincts of hate, disrespect, demands and anger.There goes the honour and love that will finally be replaced by hate which could turn out into separation.

You must take action to avoid divorce which is a life changing occurrence, usually not for the better.Make a plan to restore your love and respect.You’ve been playing your marriage by year day by day and trusting your inherent aptitude. This may work for awhile, even a few years, but as marriage breeds apathy you must seek and plan for a rekindling of that old flame

Remember how emotional you were when you first fell in love?When you’re in love with someone your feelings enable you to contribute to each other’s emotional needs.These range from being trustworthy, admiring, communicating and being lovable.You must have realize these qualities quite naturally early in your relationship. But, as love faded so did your emotions.

Love, no doubt, is the most important quality in a relationship but it takes more sometimes to make a marriage survive. It requires your readiness and ability to care and protect each other. Half hearted love and commitment will make it difficult to swim upstream when the waters get rough.

Know that love is both give and take, but if you’re keeping score of how much you give and your spouse takes your marriage might be doomed from the start. There will be both giving and receiving of bads and goods. Sometimes you’re the giver and sometimes the taker. Know how to do both with love and affection.

It may demand for a change in your behavioral method. If you’re prone to angry outbursts and criticizing replace these with calmness and compliments.Making your better half feel good is something you should enjoy doing. Husbands and wives need a certain amount of united attention. Don’t let volunteer work, family, work or children get in the way.

Being your own counselor you must learn to arbitrate and come to a joint contract that is pleasant and considerate. Look at the problems from all sides and that could include more than yours and your spouse.Brainstorm and offer productive solutions.If you get angry, stop mediating and come back later.

Nobody said marriage is easy and neither is being your own marriage counselor.You should make a move to become a better spouse in hopes of recovering your marriage.
Believe in yourself and you will believe in others.

There are few marriages that do not need help in maintaining their relationship. A marriage without a good relationship is probably a marriage that’s not going to last. If it does last, those involved are usually not very happy and content.

You can ask What’s the difference between a marriage and a relationship. A marriage is a bond formed by two people in holy matrimony; and in the eyes of man and the law they are united and only death or divorce can separate them.

A relationship is a meaningful feeling that’s formed after marriage and will continue to grow and deepen as long as the marriage is maintained. Relationships should actually begin long before the wedding vows are given.

It’s easy to tell if your marriage needs relationship help although others may notice it long before you. Tell tell signs include going to functions but going alone and offering excuses for the spouse not attending.

If you are together, you’re constantly criticizing each other and complaining about numerous petty annoyances. Or, it can go to the other extreme and you sit with each other but never talk. No matter what the other does or talks about, it’s boring and uninteresting.

Other signs of a declining relationship might be a dramatic lack of interest in the intimacy department. You’re both young and attractive, yet the spark isn’t there anymore while you fantasize about others.

Affection from your relationship is not enduring. There are no hugs, no kisses and no one says I love you. Human beings need to be touched to feel worthy, happy and satisfied. Touching part is a important ingredient of a successful marriage relationship.

Jealousy can be a turn off for your partner if carried to extremes. For the person who’s jealous he or she may withdraw from being intimate because they may view their partner as being unfaithful. For the person who’s being accused of wrong doing, they could also hide feelings being tired of the constant badgering of jealous questions.

Be sure you’re not magnifying the circumstances while establishing basic rules for both of you to follow. If jealousy is a continuing problem and is growing, you should seek help.If you want to return in your relationship, jealousy has to be stopped.

Relationship problems can arise from debt. Deficiency of enough money in a marriage is usually a reason of concern but two people working together on a budget to live within their means can overcome a small income.

It’s when one or both spend too much money and the marriage begins to drown in debt that the relationship also begins to sink. Debt can literally drain the life blood from a once loving relationship.

All marriages suffer day to day problems in their relationship. Conflicts and disagreements are common and should be expected. Just take a relationship inventory from time to time to determine if you and your spouse are where you want to be. If adjustments are necessary make them and move forward.

Steve from Dallas says that he works a lot, because he is trying to provide a good home and better opportunities for his wife and himself. His wife complains that she is lonely and wants him to spend more time at home.

Steve, in my book, I try to explain to couples how it is possible for two different people, who each have different requirements on what the marriage should include, to have a successful marriage. Growing up, I would bet that the two of you built different belief systems from what you observed from your parents and other couples. Hers is probably that she wants to be close to her husband, even if it means sacrificing working overtime to get the best house. Although there are ways to keep your spouse in mind when making decisions, you can’t change who you are or who your wife is. When you are deciding whether or not to finish the project or go home for dinner, try to remember your spouse’s history and belief system in the back of your mind.

Randy from New York City writes that he’s jealous of his new baby, because his wife doesn’t have time for him anymore.

Randy, don’t worry. This problem happens to all new fathers, and it takes a bit of time for the whole family to get adjusted to a new baby. The next time your wife says that she doesn’t have time for you because of the baby, don’t get angry at her. Try to keep your defenses lowered. Listen to the reason, and if you can help her out with something, do it! You definitely won’t get much attention from a stressed out and tired new mother while you are resting on the couch, but you may get some from her while you are helping. If you listen to your wife when she is having problems and try to help, your relationship will spring back soon.