Carl and Lois were always considered the “beautiful couple” in the small town where I grew up.

They had it all.

They were beautiful together.

Prom king and queen, he was quarterback on the football team and Lois was the person

everybody admired because although she was gorgeous and poplar she never got stuck in the

“clique” mentality.

She was never “stuck up” and everyone considered her their friend.

Carl and Lois got married just after college. They went to different schools for a couple of years

but graduated from the same school, Kansas University.

They returned to town and kind of ruled like “royalty.”

Carl owns the biggest insurance agency in town. He’s the biggest contributor to local causes

and is the most admired business man in town.

Carl and Lois have been on church committees since anyone can remember.

Every summer they take three weeks to travel with a “doctors without borders” program to help

bring food, medical supplies and hygiene to poor villages around the world.

They had two kids, both girls, who are now in college and doing great themselves. The older

one, Katlin, is going to medical school in the fall.

Everything is perfect.

Everything WAS perfect, that is.

Then along came Facebook.

One Saturday when Carl was looking for his reading glasses thinking he had left them in Lois’s

office, he saw her computer screen… she was in her Facebook account.

He saw some messages that had been going back and forth between Lois and a guy she knew

in college, the years they went to different schools.

“Those were some fun days, I’ll never forget the night we all went down to the lake and skinny

dipped. Crazy kids!”

Carl flipped out.

He went looking for Lois to ask her – confront her – about this. Lois had stepped out to meet a

girlfriend for lunch.

Carl’s suddenly felt weak in the knees and had to sit down.

He couldn’t leave the chair for the next two hours.

All he could do was imagine… imagine… imagine…

Imagine what all had gone on the two years he and Lois were apart…

Imagine all the guys she had probably slept with…

Imagine that Lois was having an affair with this guy…

His mind raced and raced.

See, Carl and Lois had never talked about that time when they were apart.

It was “off limits.”

They both had agreed to keep it “off limits” and never bring it up.

But here it was, unavoidable. Showing up in bright color right there on her screen.

“I’ll never forget that night”

It kept running through Carl’s head

Carl sat in the house and fumed.

When Lois finally got home (it was only two hours but seemed like WEEKS to Carl), he

confronted her…

It wasn’t pretty.

Words were exchanged.

She was furious her privacy had been violated.

He was appalled she was furious, because he felt so deeply betrayed.

Couldn’t she see what was happening?

Couldn’t he see what was happening?

Now, I’d like to tell you they worked things out.

But I can’t tell you that.

They didn’t.

It’s a terrible shame.

They tried… but no matter what Lois said or did, Carl still couldn’t let it go.

He got a fixed spot in his mind which wouldn’t work.

He “froze up”

She got a fixed position in her mind.

She couldn’t hear him and his pain.

She thought he was being an asshole.

She “froze up.”

Two blocks of ice.

They tried “marriage counseling,” “talking to pastor” and all that.

Why couldn’t they thaw?

Because they didn’t know how to.

They didn’t know how to communicate the right way, the way that would thaw this frozen place.

It’s a damned shame… but it happens to so many people, day in and day out.

Don’t let it happen to you.

Here’s the antidote, here’s what helps thaw relationships, don’t be without it

Click here

Dr. Max Vogt