From time to time I like to include posts from other sources, bloggers or news sources I think are important.  Here are a few I've been looking at recently.  Couple of experts and then a person going through the fallout of infidelity after a year.  What would you advise?

Infidelity Expert Says Happy Husbands Cheat Too | The Houston Exponent

In an infidelity study published earlier this year in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 75% of the cheating husbands who were questioned, said they did NOT have “lots of marital problems” prior to their affair. …

Publish Date: 04/15/2011 9:54

http://www.houstonexponent.com/infidelity-expert-says-happy-husbands-cheat-too/

Challenges Dealing With Infidelity — After-The-Affair

He practices marriage counseling in Portland, OR at the Portland Couples Counseling Center. http://www.marriage-and-relationship-counseling.com/marriage-counseling-portland-oregon.html. For information about how to choose a Relationship …

Publish Date: 04/18/2011 18:25

http://after-the-affair.info/challenges-dealing-with-infidelity

Almost a year : Where am I? – Talk About Marriage

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity. …. Planning a conversation with some else to talk through marriage issues or any issues would be "financially stupid" according to her. As much as I would like her to get rid of some of her stress and then have her come to a realization of "I want to be with him, I can't believe I almost lost him. ….. Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email: …

Publish Date: 04/25/2011 9:10

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24662-almost-year-where-am-i.html

For more information about how to THRIVE after an affair, take a look at this Suriviving After An Affair.

Take care,

Dr. Max

Dr. Max Vogt

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Dr. Max Vogt

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“Research shows that ten minutes into an argument 90% of couples can’t even remember what the argument was about” People say “We just can’t communicate, but it cuts more deeply than that…

Free Video Reveals the #1 Secret to Solving Relationship Communication Problems… Click Here

Dr. Max Vogt

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He’s a hero on the golf course because of his understanding of the need for building skills and practicing… but in marriage it’s a whole different matter. Click here for a complete free video on solving your relationship communication problems:

Dr. Max Vogt

Jared from Sacramento says that his wife wants more romance, but when he asks her what she wants, she says that it isn’t romantic if she has to tell him what to do.

Well Jared, you’re not the only person who has this problem. Whether it is romance, housework or earning money, nearly every couple has disagreements on the right amount of something in their marriage. There are many different marriage types; each one is neither better nor worse than the other. I’m sure you know what being romantic includes, but you may not know how to put romance back into your relationship if it has been missing for a while. You can’t go wrong with a warm smile, a dinner at her favorite restaurant, a love note or taking the kids out of her hair for a bit. If you listen to your wife, she’ll probably give you more than enough hints on what she likes. Just don’t shoot down what she says before you consider it.

Dr. Max Vogt

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Missy from Des Moines is worried about people finding out that her husband always lies about their children. She says that he tells their friends blatant lies, for example, inventing college degrees and leaving out their DUIs.

Missy, it is important for you to see where your husband is coming from. In my latest book, I talk about different marriage plans, or marriage blueprints. If he selected his marriage blueprint, he would probably choose the ‘Royal Family’; a type that is very concerned about their view in society and what people think of them. Give your husband a copy of my book, “You Don’t Have to Change Who You Are to Have a Good Marriage”, and read it with him together. The intimacy paradox, which says that a great marriage is possible when you accept your spouse 100% as he is, will be useful for you. Your husband may find the intimacy paradox interesting and also the exercise on how to lower his defenses. Good luck with changing your marriage, without changing yourself!

Dr. Max Vogt

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Zack from Atlanta is a newlywed whose wife gets upset at him when he looks at other women. He says: “I’m a man; I have certain urges and desires. I think that looking is ok, but touching is off limits. How can I get my wife to understand this?”

Zack, you and your wife will want to discover your marriage blueprints. It’s early into your marriage, so if you know what type of marriage you have and what each of you want; it will help you for your whole life. Your personal belief system says that looking at women is natural, while hers says that it is disrespectful to her. You want to accept her 100% for the way she is (and of course, she has to do the same for you). I think that once you understand the type of relationship that your wife wants (and the type that you want), you will be able to see each other’s prospective clearer.

Dr. Max Vogt

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Rosie from Arlington, Virginia writes that she had an affair with a coworker. She felt so guilty about it, and confessed to her husband. He says he forgives her; but sometimes he brings it up and says terrible things about her. Rosie says that she really loves him because he is a super father and a great husband, but doesn’t know what to do.

Rosie, one of the most damaging things that couples do is to always bring up the past. We all make mistakes. The important thing to do is to learn from these mistakes, and realize that your spouse will make a mistake sometime, and to forgive him or her. One trick that can definitely help when you’re husband brings it up is to drop your defenses. If you listen to his criticism, and stop getting defensive about it, eventually he will let the subject drop, because he will know that you are truly sorry about the incident.

Dr. Max Vogt

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Theresa in Miami asks what she should do about her loss of sex drive. Her husband is starting to get annoyed, and has even said that he will find someone else to satisfy him if she doesn’t.

Sometimes low sex drive is caused by health issues, drugs or alcohol or other physical issues, but Theresa assured me she is healthy and doesn’t take drugs. I answered:

Theresa, you can’t change your husband’s behavior, but since you are writing to me, you probably want to change yours, right? Well, here’s how: write down all the reasons you don’t want to have sex with your husband. One of your beliefs might read: “he’s unromantic”. Now you are going to forget this belief and write a new one down to replace the old belief that is damaging your marriage. Here is an example of a new belief that you can use: “My husband is romantic in his own way.” Now you have to go and search for the proof for this new belief. The next time your husband helps you out, you can say to yourself: “See, he really does love me, he is romantic.” You will see a change within a week if you are really trying!

Dr. Max Vogt

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Dr. Max Vogt
From Dr. Max Vogt
America’s Best Marriage Counselor
www.EasyMarriageCounseling.com

Now you know if you read my blog or get my email messages that I write almost exclusively about relationship issues.

99.9% of my messages to you are my heartfelt and very sincere attempt to help out in your marriage or that of someone you love.

I hear from people all the time that my emails have helped them in their marriage, or that they have passed them on to a loved one (daughter or son or friend) to help them in their marriage.

That truly touches me because it’s been my life’s work to help people have great marriages, in my opinion one of the greatest experiences we can have in this lifetime (yet great marriages are alarmingly rare).

AND you also know that one of the biggest contributors to relationship unhappiness is… financial! More fights are about finances than all other areas of marriage put together.

And outside of infidelity or falling out of love and trying to get it back, the next most common thing I’m asked about is how to handle financial discussions and really solve them. In many cases the answer could simply be making a little more money a month. What is the expression? More month than money?

The curious thing is that in lots of marriages it’s not a matter of them being flat broke or anything, it’s a matter of only a few hundred dollars a month that separate them from being relaxed in their daily life financially… and which can make the difference between having a home and losing it.

Another thing you may NOT know is that there are people who are still making exceptional incomes through internet businesses… people whose incomes have not diminished one bit during this time, and who are thriving.

Becoming wealthy through online business is not a myth as some think either. Being a somewhat well known person on the internet, I can vouch for the fact that quite a few of my friends are making very large ongoing incomes through their internet businesses.

Now what does that have to do with you?

A lot, but only if you have interest in increasing your income and stopping the conflict around your house (again, IF you have any! and most of us do) about paying the bills, having any money left over for fun, sending kids to college and other things.

Now here’s the problem, and I know this problem intimately, from first hand blood, sweat and tears. The internet marketing experts make it sound like it’s easy to do internet business and become wealthy in your spare time with no prior knowledge and no understanding of internet business at all.

Well that’s just bullshit, or at least I thought it was up until now. You see I’ve poured a ton of my own personal time, energy and money into becoming a success online and I promise you that as smart and experienced as I am – and despite the success I’m experiencing now, if I knew then what I know now, I never would have started the process. That’s just the honest truth.

I could have made more money with less effort doing other things, and until I began being successful I constantly wondered if I had made the right choice to dedicate so my of myself to internet business.

It’s just too time consuming, too hard and there are way too many things you have to know to become a successful internet entrepreneur. Also, spending as much time as I have on the computer (I won’t even say how many hours a day) is hard on the body and even on the soul. It can be truly soulless, grinding and difficult.

I’ve done a lot of difficult things in my life, but getting an internet business to a successful level is without a doubt the hardest.

And yet the prize… the prize is passive residual income. The kind of income where you make money 24 hours a day 7 days a week no matter what you are doing. That’s of course why we go through all this learning curve.

That of course is the real draw, the promise, the reward. And that’s what I’d like you to have.

But I don’t want you to go through all the years of education, the frustration, the sedentary lifestyle, the sleep deprivation, the money suck of paying internet marketing experts only to find that they are just rehashing all the old things that “used to work” and repackaging it to you now that they have moved on to doing other things.

So you see my dilemma? I want you to be able to have the rewards of internet business but without the terrible draining punishment, losses and frustrations.

So I’ve kept my eyes out for quite a while for something which would have the benefits of everything I know about internet business but with none or very few of the drawbacks, something I thought I could recommend to you.

A good friend of mine showed me something which I think very well may be the answer – something with all the benefits but few drawbacks.

In fact it is free to join, and in fact I was one of the very first people to join up.

I am telling you about this because it is fresh, a brand new perspective, and to my trained eye it looks like it will be an effective and super simple way to make very good residual income. It doesn’t involve selling soap or herbs, so don’t worry.

It only involves giving people access to excellent information they are looking for already and want eagerly to know about.

Please take a few minutes to click this link and watch this video and see this page. It may not be of any interest to you but then again it might be an answer to your financial prayers. I hope this helps you and I believe it will.

As always I say,

To your great relationship future,
Dr. Max Vogt

Dr. Max Vogt

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