Steve from Dallas says that he works a lot, because he is trying to provide a good home and better opportunities for his wife and himself. His wife complains that she is lonely and wants him to spend more time at home.

Steve, in my book, I try to explain to couples how it is possible for two different people, who each have different requirements on what the marriage should include, to have a successful marriage. Growing up, I would bet that the two of you built different belief systems from what you observed from your parents and other couples. Hers is probably that she wants to be close to her husband, even if it means sacrificing working overtime to get the best house. Although there are ways to keep your spouse in mind when making decisions, you can’t change who you are or who your wife is. When you are deciding whether or not to finish the project or go home for dinner, try to remember your spouse’s history and belief system in the back of your mind.

Dr. Max Vogt

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