married people are not happier than single people | marriage counseling news

The so called “research” about marriage and happiness is based on a lot of things that have little to do with happiness.

Married people tend to have more money and more health than single people.  Hmmm.

Diehard romantics say you can’t put a price on love, but a pair of European economists disagrees. In 2002, the two men calculated the monetary worth of marriage at $100,000 per year [source:Financial Times].

Despite the potential payoff, people in the United States are putting off marriage later in life than ever before. In correlation with the rising life expectancy, men and women are giving themselves more time before exchanging vows. The average age for an American woman to get hitched rose from 20.8 to 25.3 from 1970 to 2003 [source: U.S. Census Bureau]. Additionally, more adults are living the single life, thanks in large part to the higher divorce rate. According to U.S. Census data, 90 percent more single-person households existed in 2005 than in 1970 [source: Beckwith].

Over the past 30 years, marriage has become more of a social choice than a necessity, but all it takes is a few episodes of “Sex and the City” to see that Western culture still favors cohabitation. Humans’ animal instincts are wired for mating in one way or another. Moreover, a pervasive idea exists that discovering a soul mate brings joy and makes life worth living. Perhaps we aren’t far off the mark; studies have shown that married people tend to earn more money and live longer than singles. Marriage also appears to promote better health. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that husbands and wives are less likely to smoke or drink heavily, experience frequent headaches and suffer from psychological problems than people who aren’t married

But betting on marriage to bring you happiness may be a risky gamble. After all, the odds of holding on to that perfect partner forever have been whittled down to a coin flip — about 48 percent of marriages end in divorce [source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention]. Nevertheless, psychologists have pointed to marriage as the single most reliable happiness indicator. Read the full misleading article:

All of this misses the point.  Happiness in marriage has nothing to do with circumstances or money or health.  Watch this presentation and learn the truth.

Dr. Max Vogt

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are men happier in marriage than women

are men happier in marriage than women | Marriage Counseling News

Some of these findings will shock you, I think.  Tenderness matters more to men than women?

TUESDAY, July 5 (HealthDay News) — Cuddling and caressing help boost satisfaction in long-term relationships, according to a new study of middle-aged and older couples.

The study also found that tenderness is more important to men than to women, that men are more likely to report being happy in their relationship, and that women are more likely to be satisfied with their sexual relationship, said the researchers from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.

The study included more than 1,000 couples from the United States, Brazil, Germany, Japan and Spain who had been together for an average of 25 years. The participants were 40- to 70-year-old men and their female partners.

Men were more likely to be happy in a relationship if they were in good health and if it was important to them that their partner experienced orgasm during sex. Frequent cuddling and kissing also predicted relationship happiness for men, but not for women.

Both women and men were happier the longer they had been together and if they had higher levels of sexual functioning, the investigators found.

Japanese men and women were significantly happier with their relationships than Americans, who were happier than Brazilians and Spaniards, according to Kinsey Institute director Julia Heiman and colleagues.

Sexual satisfaction for both women and men was associated with frequent kissing and cuddling, sexual caressing by a partner, high sexual functioning, and frequent sex. For men, having had more sex partners in their lifetime was a predictor of less sexual satisfaction, the report indicated.

Sexual satisfaction for women increased over time. Those who had been with their partner for less than 15 years were less likely to be sexually satisfied, but satisfaction increased significantly after 15 years. Read the article

Check this out and then comment on our Facebook page where we’ve posted this article too. http://www.Facebook.com/relationshipquotes

-Dr. Max

Dr. Max Vogt

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how to have a happy marriage without marriage counseling

how to have a happy marriage without marriage counseling | Marriage Counseling News

Well once again the experts got it wrong.

Cart before the horse.  They need to wipe the pizza sauce off their lab coats and go outside into a few neighborhoods and see reality.

Here are a bunch of over-credentialed people of my profession who think they have ANOTHER behavioral cure for an unhappy marriage.

Hey, it’s not communicating, it’s not active listening… it’s BEING NICE!  WOO HOO! NOT!(My comment after the citation)

Want a Happy Marriage? Be Nice, Don’t Nitpick (you can read the whole useless article here)

True Compatibility Doesn’t Exist, so Shrug off Little Conflicts 

Thermostat settings. Dirty socks. Toothpaste caps. Our little habits make our spouses crazy. But no two people are ever truly compatible, so quit nitpicking each other, relationship experts advise. Save the battles for the big issues — and you’ll have a happy marriage.

Susan Boon, PhD, a social psychologist at the University of Calgary in Alberta, Canada, teaches classes in interpersonal relationships. A few years ago, she picked up the book, Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work, by John Gottman, MD, psychologist, relationship researcher for 30 years, and founder of The Gottman Institute in Seattle. Ever since discovering the book, Boon has recommended it to her students.

Secrets of a Happy Marriage

 Long-lasting, happy marriages have more than great communication, Boon says. “Dr. Gottman brings up something no one ever talks about — that irreconcilable differences are normal, that you just have to come to terms with them, not try to resolve the unresolvable. On some level, that should have been obvious, but it hasn’t been,” she tells WebMD.

Most marriage therapists focus on “active listening,” which involves paraphrasing, validating, affirming your spouse’s feedback, says Boon. “That’s all well and good and may help you get through some conflicts in a less destructive way. But, as Dr. Gottman puts it, ‘you’re asking people to do Olympic-style gymnastics when they can hardly crawl.’ Many people will fail at those techniques. Research indicates that most people are dissatisfied with the outcome of marital therapy, that the problems come back.”

 In happy marriages, Boon points out, couples don’t do any of that!

 Instead, you must be nice to your partner, research shows. Make small gestures, but make them often. “The little things matter,” says Boon. “What a happy marriage is based on is deep friendship, knowing each other well, having mutual respect, knowing when it makes sense to try to work out an issue, when it is not solvable. Many kinds of issues simply aren’t solvable.”

Well, isn’t that “special?”

There’s only one eency, teency problem.  And that is, if you have this big hairy history of pain, suffering and misunderstanding, how the hell are you supposed to all of a sudden “make nice?”

This lady doesn’t understand anything.

What you really really, really need is something that creates a radical transformation in your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, physical experience and internal conversation.

And it had better be really really fast, effective, and almost magic.

That’s where my Magical Marriage Cure comes in.

If you get it and use it, anything you do in marriage counseling or making nice will work… if you don’t, nothing will help you.  NOTHING.

I’m 100% serious.

- Dr. Max

Dr. Max Vogt

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monogamy in marriage | Some moron is always questioning it | Mariage Counseling News

monogamy in marriage

| Some moron is always questioning it | Mariage Counseling News

Every so often someone – apparently trying to be cute – goes out and claims that something is dead which is very much alive.

 

A few years ago we had people saying that God is dead.  The novel was dead.  Religion was dead.  The Internet was dead.  Heck way back, the horseless carriage (the automobile) wasn’t going to stick around long.

 

One of the stupidest of all these constantly recurring themes is the idea that heterosexual monogamy is dead or needs to be replaced.

 

It always turns out to be some liberal, some philosopher, some gay guy who has gotten reputation as a relationship advice guru or some other oddball who apparently doesn’t have the sense God gave a squirrel to see that if monogamy were in question it would kind of show up by people being happy with infidelities.

 

At least there would be SOME people happy with that, wouldn’t there?  As it turns out, NO ONE is happy about infidelities.

 

Here’s a great commentary by Rabbi – I recommend you read the whole article

 

This past Sunday the New York Times did a magazine cover story based on the ideas of gay sex-advice columnist Dan Savage, whom it referred to as America’s leading sex advice guru (really?), about how infidelity just might save monogamy, the idea being that monogamy is tough and it’s about time we acknowledged it. Savage argues that couples should be far more understanding of infidelities and even discuss them before they happen so as to receive each other’s informed consent, should that prove appropriate to the relationship. Couples should trade in the straightjacket of strict monogamy, which essentially doesn’t work, and instead seek to be ‘monogomish,’ that is, being essentially faithful but allowing for outside liaisons which just might prevent the dissolution of the primary relationship.

 

Yawn. What a bore. This is what passes for news in the world’s leading publication?

 

The New York Times would devote an ocean of ink to an idea that has been unsuccessfully argued by scores of ‘experts’ who have caused couples untold suffering by arguing for open relationships that have later been destroyed by jealousy and woundedness?

 

Indeed, the argument for open relationships goes back to the beginning of time, its most famous modern advocate being the celebrated British philosopher Bertrand Russell who wrote long letters to his wife about his consensual infidelities. But his open-mindedness could not surmount his jealousy when his own wife starting taking lovers.

 

The only real problem with relationships and marriage and monogamy is that people don’t know how to get what they truly want.  That’s why I created the Magical Marriage Cure.  Click here to see the free presentation on the true way to save your relationship.  It’s the most exciting discovery I’ve ever made.

 

- Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

Dr. Max Vogt

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Happy Marriage?

Friends and Clergy may be good sources of advice if you are wanting to talk about your marriage but often their advice can be biased, authoritative or confused by their own issues in marriage.

Seeking professional unbiased help is really the best way to help you resolve diffiuclt issues in your marriage.

These 5 questions can be a helpful way for you to evaluate whether you seek professional help or not: ﾠ1. What is your shared vision? 2. Are you grateful? 3.ﾠDoes your behavior toward your partner demonstrate the love you feel? 4.  Can you accept all the ways your partner is different from you? 5. Is it safe for each of you to admit when you have made a mistake?

One helpful piece of Christian marriage advice is to keep a gratitude … Christian marriage advice is rooted in a belief in the sanctity of marriage. …
marriage.cinebarn.com/…/five-tips-for-a-happy-christian-marr…

If you have a diffiuclt time answering these questions or are unhappy with the answers then it’s time to get some professional help.

Click here to visit the original source of this post

Dr. Max Vogt

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When Does Infidelity in Marriage Occur?

With infidelity a focus of media attention these past few days I’m seeing more information surface not only about men and affairs but also women and affairs.  Here are a couple of figures that might surprise you:  80% -  people who become addicted to an online affair, 45-55% – of   married women engage in extramarital sex at some time during their relationship, 90%  – of Americans  believe adultery is morally wrong.

While infidelity can occur at anytime in a relationship, there are certain times when it is more likely to occur than others. In addition, there are certain relationship factors which can dramatically increase the potential for infidelity.

Is it possible for men and women to safe guard their marriages from the betrayal of marriage infidelity?

Click here to visit the original source of this post

Dr. Max Vogt

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Infidelity in Marriage

Reasons For Infidelity In Marriage:  Have you caught your collaborator talking to another girl over the phone? Did you try to read his text messages and find a girl’s name on almost all of the messages received? Did you without intention pick up his phone and heard a girl’s voice on the other line calling your guy “darling”?
problemswithmarriage.net/category/infidelity-in-marriage/…/3/

The tragedy of infidelity in marriage is all over the news these days. ﾠDon’t become a follower!

Click here to visit the original source of this post

Dr. Max Vogt

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infidelity in marriage

These three tips  will give  you a good start in talking to your child about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s infidelity

The revelation that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a household staff member can go from shocking to nerve-wracking when your child is sitting beside you. For a certain type of parent, questions abound: Should I turn off the radio or television and try to limit my child’s exposure to the sex scandal?..

These tips may not be the end of the conversation with your child about marriage, divorce, infidelity, as a matter of fact it may open up more conversations, giving you a opportunity to help your child sort out his/her feelings about some very diffiuclt issues.

click here to see the original source of this post

Dr. Max Vogt

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Are marriages that last over 60 years something that we aren’t aware of any longer? I thought so until I read this article. ﾠSo what’s the secret to this marriage that has lasted 70 years?

As for any marriage advice, Hodson said he really doesn’t have any to share. “Gee whiz, I don’t know,” he said. “Let’s face it, there’s going to be ups and downs.” He said couples just need to work at it. It also doesn’t hurt if your spouse is handy in …

Not a man of many words Harry Hodson said “couples just need to work at it.”

Click here to visit the original source of this post

Dr. Max Vogt

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Marriage help, be a better husband

OK guys you’re going to doubt me on this one, but “hear me now, believe me later.”

I’m going to give you the ultimate sex secret of all time.

It doesn’t come from a psychologist.

It doesn’t come from Dr. Phil or Oprah.

It doesn’t come from Dr. Ruth.

It doesn’t even come from some porn star.

No.

It comes from Billy Joel

Listen.  If you really want to “get her hot” here’s what you do.

Get a copy of Billy Joel’s song “Tell Her About It.”

Then do everything he tells you to do in the song.

I’m serious.

Tell her about it
Tell her everything you feel
Give her every reason to accept
That you’re for real

The guy is a lady monster even though he looks like a toad (sorry Billy).

Need proof?  He was married to Christie Brinkley.

Got divorced?  Well I assume he stopped listening to his own advice.

This is the hottest, easiest and simplest tip I have for you guys.

Your wives will totally agree with me on this one.

And here’s the rest of the story.

http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Js.L7&m=Jlfzu5BRt6iWqK&b=9CXVS6ubpK4QX6rEhjXTVw

Enjoy your weekend,

Dr. Max

Posted via email from Marriage Counseling, Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce

 

Dr. Max Vogt

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