Your Questions About Marriage And Family Counseling Jobs

Husband has no job and doesn’t provide much support to his family. How do I leave?

We’ve been together 6 years now. We have two children ages 4 and 1. I am 27 he is 29.

He has worked in the past at 7-11, Burger King, and at a computer factory. He never lasts long usually gets fired, laid off, or steals. He stole things from every job he worked.

Fast-forward 2 years he hasn’t had a job. Almost 3 now. His unemployment ran out. He continues to try to make games, music, and offbeat projects and sits on facebook all day. None have sold.

It seems I have to do everything for him. Phone calls to banks and his college, business, and even job applications. If he calls people he doesn’t get facts straight, he doesn’t even “know” his own address. He is either lazy or absent minded half the time.

He blames his lack of a job on his children, me, the city he lives, everything but himself. I can’t pay the bills this month since his unemployment ran out. He had 3 computers and moaned when I sold two of them to keep the lights on. He gets school funding for online college, doesn’t complete the classes. I have to usually help do the work. He doesn’t help much with the cleaning. Sometimes he brings me water or something to eat if our 1 year old is asleep on me, but he makes me uncomfortable just asking for a favor. He moans and complains or rolls his eyes at me.

My children love him, he isn’t a good parent though to my son who is 4. He yells at him a lot and expects too much of him. I know it is best for two parents to stay together. I have no money for marriage counseling. I don’t even think he’d go or benefit from it. We also don’t have sex. Its been near a month now. We don’t sleep in the same room he makes excuses to lay on the couch in the other room. Since we have no money there is no babysitters and we haven’t had an alone time date in five years. None of this bothers him as long as he gets his internet games and his facebook.

He does apply once in awhile for jobs. At least 3 times a week online but never follows through.

I am very depressed and I don’t think I can make this marriage work any further. How do I leave him? How do I help my children through this? I have the divorce papers printed and ready to file. Is this the right thing to do? I feel like I can’t waste another second of my life with him he is a loser I know that. I try to deny it but its true. I feel like he is the best I can attain in life and no other guy with real prospects would ever want me. Maybe I am better off staying?

Telling family & friends your husband cheated?

So my husband came to me this past Memorial weekend and told me he had been having a yearlong affair with one of his co-workers. A lot of roller coasters, a lot of tears, a lot of anger & some very deep conversations have filled the time, but we’re nowhere near being “over it”. The insurance that we have does cover marriage counseling, however, the first appointment available to us is August 3rd. We are determined to work through this & stay together.

Now, comes the question: Do we tell our family & friends this happened? They all know something is going on, but I’ve made it clear that’ it’s personal. All of our children are adults. My daughter (2nd marriage for both of us) has got in her mind (& I’m sure that I’ve encouraged that) that we are having financial problems, which is furthest from the truth. We are financially stable. My husband was ok with this at first, but now it’s getting annoying to him. I’ve bowed out of traveling & spending time with friends & family so that we can work on our marriage – which only makes them think more that it’s financial reasons. I haven’t worked in past 1 1/2 years (was laid off), however, graduated in May with honors from Medical School. I’m trying to land a job – more so for my sanity – however, have not landed one yet.

My husband is ready to come clean to all of them. He thinks that they will understand a lot more of what I’m going through & that I won’t appear to be financially burdened. I say no – I don’t want them to know. I think it will only draw sympathy from them & also hurt our kids in the long run. It took a lot of time to finally get us bonded as a family – I think this could destroy that. I’ve asked him to at least hold off until we get counseling to see what is suggested there. Thoughts? Opinions?
Telling people that it is absolutely not a financial problem would cause more questions like why I’m not engaging in activities that I used to do – like having lunch/dinner/movies with the girls, agreeing to go on a trip (prior to knowing about the affair) with a friend for over a week & canceling. Shopping with my daughter. I’ve stopped all of these activities. I don’t feel like going & I do feel like spending more time with my husband.

Would you tell your family/friends your husband cheated on you?

So my husband came to me this past Memorial weekend and told me he had been having a yearlong affair with one of his co-workers. A lot of roller coasters, a lot of tears, a lot of anger & some very deep conversations have filled the time, but we’re nowhere near being “over it”. The insurance that we have does cover marriage counseling, however, the first appointment available to us is August 3rd. We are determined to work through this & stay together.

Now, comes the question: Do we tell our family & friends this happened? They all know something is going on, but I’ve made it clear that’ it’s personal. All of our children are adults. My daughter (2nd marriage for both of us) has got in her mind (& I’m sure that I’ve encouraged that) that we are having financial problems, which is furthest from the truth. We are financially stable. My husband was ok with this at first, but now it’s getting annoying to him. I’ve bowed out of traveling & spending time with friends & family so that we can work on our marriage – which only makes them think more that it’s financial reasons. I haven’t worked in past 1 1/2 years (was laid off), however, graduated in May with honors from Medical School. I’m trying to land a job – more so for my sanity – however, have not landed one yet.

My husband is ready to come clean to all of them. He thinks that they will understand a lot more of what I’m going through & that I won’t appear to be financially burdened. I say no – I don’t want them to know. I think it will only draw sympathy from them & also hurt our kids in the long run. It took a lot of time to finally get us bonded as a family – I think this could destroy that. I’ve asked him to at least hold off until we get counseling to see what is suggested there. Thoughts? Opinions?

Why is my wife so oppossed to helping me with this marriage?

We have been fighting practically every day for the 2 years we have been married, and we have a 1year old son now.
I have been the only one working, providing for our family, up until recently…she was given a job by my relative at his factory…she still doesn’t get it…she just wants more and more and more from me, and me only

We have been going to a biblical marriage counseling class, that takes us thru 10 major steps, we have completed 7 of them, and to our counselors, they see changes, but we do not…

I cannot do that anymore..Please help me