Your Questions About Marriage Counselling Books

depressed spouse won’t help himself?

This marriage has never been very good. We got married way too soon. Been together 5 years now. I have mental health issues that I deal with–meditation, excercise, medication, self-help books, counseling, I exhaust myself.
My husband is depressed and refuses to do anything about it. He won’t take medication, says he doesn’t need counseling, and he has not made even a single friend since we have been together.
He also won’t go to marriage counseling. I’ve never been religious, but he was when we met, and he has even stopped going to church.
As far as I see, all he is putting in to this marriage is a paycheck. Am I suppossed to just be okay with this?
at least I can admit to mine and face them.
I see most of you people as judgemental and mean. I hope you never have a problem in your perfect lives.

Any advice for being unhappy in marriage?

We have 3 kids, just had twins 3 months ago. I’ve tried everything, talking to him, letters, books, counseling. He tries to make me happy with THINGS. He buys me everything. But when I ask for his time, or intamacy, or foreplay, he can’t give it to me. I know he has issues, maybe I do, I don’t know. I love the man, but I am very lonely because he is so closed. I don’t work. Couldn’t possibly support the three kids alone. I have no family or friends to turn to becuase he was always jealous or angry with something they did and I chose him. Wondering how the hell I even got here. Sick of feeling so alone. This yahoo answers sometimes feels like my only human contact besides my babies. Isn’t that sad? I know you’re thinking he’s abusive, he’s not. Just very closed and angry all the time. Try to make him open up and laugh and it pisses him off. He’s around all the time, so he’s not cheating, but he’s never “here”. Always tv and computer. Says its relaxing. Any advice?

I’m tired of trying to work on my marriage, but I don’t want it to be over. How did you know when it was done?

Married 8 yrs. Three kids. He’s an alcoholic who’s been sober (I think) for a couple months. I am currently living at my parents with our kids.

I feel like I’ve tried it all. I tried being understanding, Yelling, Begging. Offered to go to counseling. Offered a couples weekend retreat. I’ve read close to all the books on marriage. I pray often.

He’s not drinking, but he still doesn’t treat me and the kids like we matter. Still, I want to stay married. Do you think there comes a point when you just have to give up even if you don’t want to?

So many people just think it’s so easy and obvious to divorce the addict, but I just don’t think it’s that easy. What would be your breaking point?
Guess I should have said so, but my husband sober is no different than my husband drinking. He really hasn’t changed, except that he doesn’t have a beer in his hand every night. Attitude the same. Negative outlook the same. Neglect the same. Angry outburst the same. He is convinced that now that he’s stopped drinking I should be happy, but he hasn’t changed. He won’t go to counseling. He was going to AA and claims he still is, but I don’t think so.
MamaBouch, thank you.

Husband is on his last chance and I need help! We have a 3 month old baby and I am really stressed help me!!!!?

I gave my husband his last chance today. We have been married for a year. We have a 3 and a half month old baby girl together and his three stepsons They call me mom and they are very close to me very close. My husband does not help me with money at all for our daughter but he does take care of his other kids. He also calls his kids everyday but i have asked him to call our daughter just the same but he doesn’t. Also he in the NAVY and stationed in virginia. I just got out of the navy and moved back to my home town to have help with the baby. I have told him for three months i want to be back with him in virginia and that if we aren’t together we will pro bally end up divorced. He has not made an effort to get me or his daughter back up there. He has been acting different since the day i got pregnant that’s before we knew I was pregnant. But the point is that he is not the person that i married. He would have never raised his voice or called me out of my name its terrible. Here are the actions that i have taken to fix our marriage. I have been to seminars for marriage read marriage books went to counseling and he would not talk the whole time i mean i have done everything that i can possibly think of i don’t know what to do. So today I told him that he had till Monday this coming monday to get everything done for us to come up there and to make it happen. If he doesn’t i will file for divorce. I am sitting here not working or going to school cause i am waiting on him to make a decision so i am living off of my savings. What will happen when the money runs out and i don’t have a job or something to support us. I just need to take care of my daughter and i need to know if anyone out there can help or has advice for me i just really need some help threw this not to feel guilty and to make the right decision so any advice and help will be appreciated.
DV i don’t have a job because i got hurt on my last deployment and haven’t been able to. I almost got killed during my fight with a terrorist. I know about defending my country i know more than most I was honorably medically retired from my injury. So don’t go there. And two she needs to hear her daddy’s voice so she will know him I left out the fact that he gets mad at me for her not knowing him so that is what i am trying to do to make him feel more included. He is being a dead beat dad but i love him for other reasons not these reasons though. I am trying to stick it out and be a good wife but i don’t know if i can do it anymore.
WOW are all men that ignorant you all with rude answers obviously dont have kids thank you to the supportive people