Your Questions About Marriage Counseling Advice Men

MarriageCounseling answers:

Abuse is a deal breaker. I’m certain that your parents mean well, but they aren’t living the hell that you are. It does sound like he’s got mental problems…especially when a man threatens to kill the person if she leaves.
Please take your daughter and yourself to an abuse shelter. At the very least call an abuse shelter and tell them what you said here. See, when a man threatens to kill you that is because he has thought about it. “Where the mind goes, the man follows. ”
Please don’t live in such fear….plan your escape and go to a shelter. I’m worried for you and your daughter. And seriously, who cares that you can’t afford to give her the luxury of lifestyle that he can. All she needs is your love… Good luck…I will pray for you …

MarriageCounseling answers:

Could it possibly a carry over from the abuse you went thru with him in the past?! That even tho he’s changed, you resent him for all he did against you. I have lived with every single kind of abuse, so have a good taste of all you went thru. IF you’re not living in a good loving atmosphere, eventually your kids are going to feel it & notice it. That will NOT be a good atmosphere for them, nor would it be doing them a favor either. A home without love IS felt. Possibly have a talk with him, let him know how you feel. You DO deserve happiness & to be living with someone you do love. You shouldn’t do it for the sake of your children, it’s not going to work out. I feel you must bring it out in the open…best to you…:)

MarriageCounseling answers:

You have your own needs: to be loved, held, and feel protected by a man, and to love and honor a man you can respect.

In most cases a woman can marry a heterosexual crossdresser without any major problems. That is because most heterosexual crossdressers consider their condition an problem and they are willing to make compromises with their wife.

Compulsive crossdressers feel a NEED to crossdress. Their brains are hard-wired to release neurotransmitters when they crossdress, and this produces a sensation of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratificatin and self-identity. These neurotransmitters affect the reward centers of their brain, so it mimics the addiction response.

Your husband has problems on several levels: He is a compulsive crossdresser, he is into dominance/submissive sexual gratification, and he doesn’t understand, or care, about your personal needs. He acts very immature.

As the wife in a crossdressing relationship you need to establish the limits of tolerance. Set some rules like: Keep it private, Never in my clothes, Never in our intimate times… It is a turn off for you, and he needs to understand that. You are open minded and will allow it a couple times a week. You may not be able to respond to his dominanace/submissive sexual role-play. He needs to respond to your needs as much as you need to respond to his.

Nature tells us that it is healthy for boys to want to be boys and for girls to want to be girls. Social convention tells us that boys wears pants and girls wear skirts. Social convention can change but nature doesn’t. Crossdressing is a matter of social convention. While you may consider yourself as open-minded you have also discovered that you have limits on propriety,

MarriageCounseling answers:

The butterflies and the “in love” feeling is temporary, at least for 95% of us. It is the direct result of the brain chemicals that create that feeling of infatuation and bond us to our partner.
When that fades we are left with the familial love of a long term relationship.

I love this article – very informative as well as amusing:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/12/AR2007021201657.html