Your Questions About Marriage And Family Counseling Jobs

ugly marriage situation. what to do?

Been married almost 3 yrs, split up 2 mos ago. Wife left – sez its cause she couldn’t stand me getting on her case about being irresponsible w/ our finances (creating unnecessary debt, hiding bills — with no job), our family business (decided to drop out cuz I couldn’t hold her hand thru every “issue”) , and rearing her teen daughter.

Has since moved in with her dad, 90 miles away, and he literally helps her find ways to justify her crappy behavior. She makes agreements with me – mostly now over custody/visitation of our 2-yr old son – then finds excuses to break them if things are not working in her favor.

**we’ve spent 2 yrs already in family counseling, at my expense.**

i do love her but can’t deal with the negligence. before she left i closed the joint accounts, but have been sending money for my son weekly. when we were together, she wouldn’t really discuss issues, but now she is quite explosive about them (and 90 miles away — coward!)

where to go with this?
I ain’t perfect … and have lost my cool over this stuff.. and don’t like it.

My wife has apologized several times, but continues doing the same stuff. I think she’s got ADHD.
she won’t seek treatment.. says she’s got other priorities.
Wow! So many responses already… guess i should add….

We made a custody agreement w/ a court mediator august 30 for rotating visitation, alternating a week at a time for both of us. That took work because she was bitching about having to pay for child care once she gets a job. She waited until the last day (9 days later) to fax the court with a dispute, thus cancelling its promotion to a court order. when i asked about why, now her argument became oh, i don’t want my car to break down on the drive, and oh, it’s not stable for our child. she also refused to discuss any alternative.

I filed for custody/visitation the next morning (asking basically for the same terms) but the hearing is like five weeks away. I am bugging out, really, cause i have been trying to complete my studies for the california first year law exam (next october 23) but all this other stuff is wrecking my concentration. i miss my son.

I know I’m a horrible person, can counseling fix these issues..and my marriage?

Here are some of the things I’ve done.
I steal money from both of my jobs.
I installed a key-logger on my wife’s computer so I can see everything she does in it.
I never let her live down anything she does wrong, and use it against her to win arguments. (she cheated on me while her and I Were dating and I found out a year after we got married. I use this all the time)
I constantly cheat on her, through sites like craigslist, and with people from college. And somehow I’m able to justify it by what she did..
Everyone I know thinks I’m perfect and she’s horrible for what she does..or doesn’t do. (she doesn’t cook or clean or have a job)
My bosses thinks I work really hard, when most of the time I look at porn on my work computer, and finish everything in the last second. I can “charm” my way into almost any-ones heart, and make them love me. This is what I did to my wives parents, they love me and basically tell her to “be a better wife”. We argue sometimes, but we make up after-wards. Everything is great for about 2 weeks, then I’m back to my old ways. We have sex at least twice a day for the 3 years we’ve been married, but still cheat on her..she still doesn’t know about any of it.. I try to stop but its just such an easy way to go through life. I’m thinking about divorcing her for the things I’VE done…
I was abused by my father as a kid, and rapped by a close family friend (male). But I have no feeling towards that stuff..like “eh who cares”. I can do almost anything I want, steal a poor persons last $5 if I had the chance. And somehow convince myself that they deserved it. I don’t get myself.. I naturally suppress guilt..Ask anyone I know, (including my wife) and they will tell you that I’m the greatest person ever. But if they only knew..

Ladies, if you were pregnant but could not seem to get along with your spouse, would you leave?

me and my spouse have been fighting for years, but we break up and make up. I am now pregnant in a different country with no friends and family and we are separated again after a fight that could have cost him his job. Should I just leave and be around family, or stay and get marriage counseling?

what is wrong with my marriage?

I hate my husband. Rather, I hate my marriage.
Please forgive me for sharing these details with complete strangers, but i am so mad.

We dont have the best relationship. However, he is unwilling to admit that he is 65% to blame for it.
He shows no affection. No kisses out of the blue, no ” i love you”(only when he leaves for work), no nice text messages in the middle of the day, no thank yous for being a wife, nothing showing apprectiation. I get acussed of cheating all the time, his family disrespects me (his daughter by a previous relationship especially). He is a soldier, who had to deploy (by his choice, not forced) when our son was 2 months old. He is serving a dui sentence for one year (no driving) because he doesnt listen. I had to quit my job because of this. If his family needs something, he RUSHES to help them. When I need something, he drags his feet and refuses to do it. He drinks non stop, all day.
The only time he doesnt drink is when he doesnt have any money to. We tried marriage counseling, but he refused to go back when the counselor focused on him and told him he needed to stop drinking. He is a mamas boy. He refuses to get us a new car, which we need badly, but when his mother needed a new car he gave her the only back up that we have.

I am tired.I am ready to call this marriage quits. I hate him. I think about divorcing him everyday.