Charles asks…
Are there any Aussie providing free online counseling.?
Being as a new PR immigrant to OZ from China, I still have a lot of worries. I have been to OZ twice shortly last year. First time I traveled some cities with tour group, second time I went to Sydney with full of confidence.But the new life stress, sudden changed different climate, unhealthy marriage and old negative cognitive system give me a panic attack. Then I went back. The heart broken procedure of divorcement and inapposite treatment by some psychiatrists made my condition worse. Fortunately, with some help by some right therapies, I did get recovering fast. Now I am going to OZ again, so I would like to get some counseling online first, if there are anyone want to help. My situation now is guit good, no panic attack again from the last time in Sydney.Never use drugs and pills, I just want to talk with some local people to get more informations, or any psychologist is preferable. Or any one can share some information here. Sincerely.
MarriageCounseling answers:
Hi. Here are three organisations that should help:
Beyond Blue 1 300 224 636
SANE 1 800 18SANE
Lifeline 13 11 14
and a kid’s helpline, if needed: 1 800 55 1800.
These are reputable organizations that help out in a crisis. They may not do ongoing psychotherapy with you, but can tell you somebody or a group who can help. Glad you are doing better, but looking to stay healthy! Look forward to a bright, happy future in OZ!!
Joseph asks…
Marriage problems again?
Here we go again. My wife and I have been married for about a year and been together a total of 9 years. We also have a 1 year old girl.
Now on to the problem. She brings so many issues that the table I can’t even list them all. She smokes pot, she does online porn to make money(not with other people but gets people off through webcams), and overall she has no aspirations for anything else. She smokes in the house and is a freakin mess around the house. She does these nasty shows for people online and then leaves all the evidence around the house. It is disgusting.
She has been diagnosed with bipolar, manic, BPD, and many more. I’m starting to think she is narcissistic too. She is SOOO in to herself. She sits online for hours looking at bra’s, sluttly outfits, and other crap solely focused on her. When we go out she throws fits about shopping for her.
She spent most of our daugthers christmas gift cards on clothes for herself and then still wants more. Can’t even go to the mall to take our daughter to the play-place without her throwing a fit for why we can’t by stuff.
She starts fights daily with me about anything she can dig up then 20 minutes later reverts back to being the normal person who is so appreciative for everything. Last time she got mad(2 nights ago) she rips up all the pictures that I got in Europe so that I would “feel like she felt.” I kept my cool and said as long as she could at least replace the one I liked the most. It has been two days and all she has done has been photoshopping pictures of herself…hasn’t even tried to fix it. This morning I was irritated because all she was doing was buying pictures of herself from Walgreens. She started an argument for why I cared so much about some stupid pictures. She has thence locked herself in the bedroom to do more online shows for people.
Granted it does supplement income but not THAT much. I make about 2k a month and we scrap by each month with just a little extra money. She makes 5-700 a month, so not much at all for what it entails. I get the privilege of seeing random peoples junk saved on her computer…their nasty chat rooms left open….or even worse…her doing nasty things with these people “virtually” and then wanting sex from me. She fought with me last night because I don’t feel like “being with her” 7 days a week. She threatens me saying I hope I’m aware how this will end up…why people cheat.
Marriage counseling is on Monday.
Already married.
She is on a low does Lexapro and takes a low does Zanex when “needed.”
MarriageCounseling answers:
I’m willing to bet she has a sexual abuse history somewhere, either from childhood or from relationships prior to your marriage. If so, she likely has PTSD instead of (or along with) bipolar (I say that because PTSD is commonly mis-diagnosed.)
The fact she’s insistent that this is THE job she does, for only 5-700/month…it’s a telling clue. Is that the only value she sees in herself? She can make that much or more at a coffee shop.
Have you thought about putting your foot down and insisting that she respect you and the marriage by not working in a field that makes you so uncomfortable? That’s a totally reasonable request, especially if she wasn’t in this line of work prior to the marriage.
If I were in your shoes, the following would have to happen for me to stay:
1. She gets a new line of work that respects herself, spouse and the marriage.
2. She (and you) gets an allowance. When it’s gone, it’s gone, and the bills should be paid first.
3. NO smoking in the house, period. Hope the child doesn’t have asthma.
4. She goes to indvidual therapy AND you two go to marriage counseling-weekly.
If she’s that unwilling to take care of herself, I would question why you want to stay and be her dad and husband both, because that’s the position you’re in now. There are plenty of single dads out there, and sometimes one solid, attentive and loving parent is better than two (one present, one being the shadow that your wife is.)
I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but you do have power to change things, even if it’s just you that changes.
Ruth asks…
How do you start a petition online, get people to sign it, and submit it to Congress?
I was wondering about doing two online petitions:
1) A petition that will legalize (not decriminalize) the killing of an abusive spouse, partner, or parent (or other family member or caretaker) if it can be proven that the person who killed the abuser either tried to get out of the abusive environment or was afraid to leave or had no way to escape the abusive situation. I don’t think this will change the numbers at all or at least not by much if this happened but I do believe this will make the abusers think twice before abusing their loved ones.
2) I want to start a petition making contract marriage legal in all fifty states (in the US). This would mean that the couple who wants to marry would draw up a contract with terms and conditions for how they should treat each other, handle finances, and handle other issues as they arise during the course of the marriage and also outline the conditions for divorce which are commonloy abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, irresponsibilty, and abandonment. In most cases, there would be a ceremony and a minister would sign the contract along with the two parties but unlike covenant marriage, the conditions for divorce are more lax although pre marital counseling would be a prerequesite for a marriage like this and marriage counseling would be recommended before a divorce unless there is abuse or abandonment.
MarriageCounseling answers:
While all citizens have the right to petition the government….. That does not mean they will act on that petition
Legalizing the killing of an abusive spouse would result in chaos….. As to abusers thinking twice…..they do not even think ONCE now; what makes you think they will stop and think twice…. Violence is an emotional response….not a premeditated calculated act
Contract marriages…. You can do that now….. The provisions thereof are whatever the contracted parties want…..
According to the Constitution…..the federal governments job does not include actions of this nature…..I doubt first that you will get many signatories…..certainly not enough to garner any attention ……and second the Federal government / Congress could not do anything even if it wanted to….. NOT THEIR JOB
Jenny asks…
MARRIAGE COUNSELORS: would you say that this couple’s marriage is doomed to end in a few months?
been together 8yrs
she cheated on him a few yrs back-he got hotels bills from her and this divorced father-of-three she meant online
he never forgave her, saved the bills, and wouldn’t have kids with her
she just caught him having an affair with a coworker…and they work at the same place
no kids together
WOULD YOU SAY THIS MARRIAGE IS DOOMED TO END-OR SHOULD BE ENDED ASAP???
Also-they tried marriage counseling after her affair
MarriageCounseling answers:
Half of marriages end in divorce.
Doomed is not the word, but it is likely.
Some people stay in marriagefor the sake of kids…but they do not have that to deal with.
Powered by Yahoo! Answers
Dr. Max Vogt is known as one
of America's top psychologists and
marriage counselors. His bestselling books, articles and programs have
been helping people have happy, successful marriages for over 25 years.
He considers his newest work,
Comments on this entry are closed.