Your Questions About Marriage Counseling Questions Online

Actually I had asked a question and am finding my answer?

I had wrote about 2-3 months ago, my husband who I have been with 6 years had an ex, who tried to creep back into our lives, online. They were corresponding in ways that weren’t healthy at all for us, I found out by pure accident. I think now more than ever that accidents happen for a reason. We are doing much much better now. It taught us both not to let lifes crap get in the way of the things that are important, the things that truly matter. We have been going to counseling and have discovered lots of things we didnt realize about each other. We were so busy into working and money budgeting and the kids and all that we were letting us (he and I) slip and get put on the back burner as they say. It was him I understand that took it to a point that never should have happened and never even thought of, we both know this, although we both made mistakes by not keeping our communication as open as it should have been, by not speaking up more. We are learning together about foregiveness, trust,faith and what love is all about. There should have been more communication between us like there is now, more date nights and remembering why we made the decision to marry. We are not on the back burner any longer, though our schedules are different right now and we are going to work on that too, the time we do have together has become more important on enjoying each others company, not in front of the TV but we are both painting together (he is a really great artist) and I am learning with his help that I still have that ability that I lost touch with and was only longing to do. So life has been good for the both of us. The accident I came across wasnt fatal to our marriage which is why it probably did happen when it did. It wasnt too late for us. In reality, we still expect maybe some ups and downs but we want our ride of life to be together. Thank you all for your comments when I first asked my question, there were alot of choices and answers. We made the right one for us.

Is Do It Yourself divorce legal?

Hi everyone,

I’m in a situation where I think both my wife and I (we’ve been separated since January) are waiting for the other to file the divorce papers. I waited and waited around for her to consider working on the marriage and possibly trying to reconcile it through counseling. It has become increasingly obvious that this will not be happening, and quite frankly I have become a little tired of waiting around for someone who has no interest. It is time for me to make the best decision for me and move on with my life so that none of this has to hang over my head anymore.

My question for you all is:

Does anyone have any information about DIY (Do It Yourself) Divorces online? I know a couple people who have done it, but I don’t know how legal or effective they really are. I would obviously love to avoid the messy divorce with all the court costs and lawyer fees. We were newly wed with no attachments, so there isn’t anything binding us together that me may have to split.

I’m just looking for a lot of suggestions so I can figure out what to do next!

Thanks a bunch

Should I dump my fiancee?

Recently things have got a little tough in the love portion of my life. I’m young I know but I don’t think it’s odd to have found someone you want to love for life by my age (21). Dated this girl for 2 years practically. Proposed the idea of marriage on the 3rd year. 4th year went by just fine and now we’re working on the 5th year of the relationship.

This is probably one of the oddest relationships. We have almost nothing in common other than a few tiny things like we both played basketball. We both like to travel. And good food. Other than that I rarely feel any other connections. Though this has never mattered to me because we get along so well and I never mind doing what she wants to do and vice versa. 99% of the time I have fun.

Now things are going sour. We get in a lot of arguments. Main reason being over her growing up. We live at her parents house I have a job but I’d only be able to afford me if we moved out. Thought I want to move out I know i can’t support us and I don’t want to take that route. I’m still finish school so i don’t want to get more than one full time job. She’s stuck in the “i can’t find one” the only thing she has done is apply online and maybe once or twice in person in the past year. She’s made little effort towards taking care of us. She is caring, don’t get me wrong. She’ll be there right when the sun is up with some breakfast when you’re tied to the bed because of the flu but she can’t take care of me in any other way.

Her parents are driving me nuts. They’ve begun to bug about how I don’t help them. When in fact i do i just don’t hand them the money directly because they spend it on frivolous items. We’re not exactly richest people in the world. She’s now slowly siding with them about me having to pay rent when NO one else in the house does except the mother. The father brother and my girlfriend don’t pay a dime. They don’t work and only my girl goes to school. Freeloaders galore… but i have to get the sour end.

Now I’ve been watching my girlfriend a lot lately, she seems different. I also see her playing online a lot and made a new msn account without telling me, I just found out when I went to go login. I brought it up and she’s like “oh i did?” “i mean didn’t i tell you?” so I got suspicious…I lost trust. I logged into her account and found she added 3 people. I asked her so did you add anyone recently? She said no she hadn’t! Now why would she say that and in fact she did… 2 of the people live near us maybe a city or two away… They’re both single. When she signs on to her game and msn when i’m home, she always looks like she’s deleting people or blocking them real quick… One time someone had pmed her on the game called her a “loverrr” and she quickly deleted them. called them a freak and she said she never knew them. But if she never knew him how come he was added on her list right?

Oh and I bought her a ring…she lost it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I took nearly 3 months looking for it… she looses it. She spent maybe 15 minutes tops looking for it… luckily it was only $500 instead of $3000

So summed up……..
I think she’s cheating and won’t grow up. I don’t want to break up because I’ve centered my future with her in mind all the way through. I still love her personality but now I feel because I’ve pushed her into growing up and argued so much that she’s running off with other people.

Simply put I’m leaving my destiny on a sad little question. Because I don’t know what else to do anymore. She doesn’t believe in therapy so i can’t go to counseling sessions. We don’t really have friends we can sit down with to mediate an argument. Her parents are freaks my mother is nuts.
So the simple yet complicated question.

Should I dump her?

WILL TIME APART MAKE SOMEONE MISS YOU AND REALIZE THEY LOVE YOU?

Hell all,

I’ve been with my wife since she was 15 and I was 19. We waited on my part 5 years to get married and have been up until now, she’s 32 and I’m 35. To make a long story short, about 3 months ago she came to me and said she had fallen out love me.

Like the million other posts online, I was completely shocked. She had many valid reasons and not only blamed me but herself as well for lack of communicating and mostly for me not listening to her.

Initially she wanted a divorce but I convinced her that I had changed and asked her for a second chance which she granted (Jan. 1/2010). This New Year’s (2010) we went out for dinner and she said she’d put the past behind us and we’d start fresh but with no guarantees.

She noted a lot of changes in me and was shocked at my turn around; she said I had become the man she always wanted. In the next following few weeks she would cry a lot and tell me that she felt guilty for not loving me the way she did before this happened. We tried counseling but she said that it didn’t help change the fact that she felt nothing for me when we kiss and had no interest in sex and it hurt her that she couldn’t give me what I was giving her.

Prior to us trying things out, she had asked me for space and time to miss me. I said I would give her time but came running home in 3 days and complained about my living circumstances. She got really angry with me for coming home and not giving her space, insisting that I never listen to her (as in the past years of our marriage), always under her skin and needy and selfish and only thoughtful of my feelings. She insisted in a divorce but again I pleaded and cried and after the few days – we came to Jan. 1/2010.

Shortly after we took a vacation with the kids to Cancun, Mexico, she said it was the best vacation ever in her entire life, but she was shocked at my “amazing” behavior which seemed out of character. After about 6 weeks which brings us to today she said that I listen to her, love her the way she needs to be loved, touch her differently am easy-going, strong willed, fun etc. etc. but “I’m to late” and she’s no longer in love with me and continues to cry out of guilt. Flowers, going out, friends over, presents, surprises, Valentines, amazing bday – all awesome, all out of character (???) but great.

I could feel that the kisses are forced, she still has no romantic interest so I offered her the divorce and to set her free. She cried and said she wasn’t ready to let go of our marriage and family (2 boys aged 10 and 5). She asked me for time away to miss me and see if she wants me back (in bed and as a husband) and asked me how much time she could have.

I told her to take as much time as she needs (promised not to txt, msn, phone calls, facebook etc.), left her the house, cars, everything and moved out and am paying all the bills. I told her to go find out what she wants out of life and what’s it is like to live without me. I told her live they way she wants and do what she desires and I’ll take her back no matter she does or happens.

Question – has anyone spilt from a spouse who claimed they were no longer in love with them and eventfully the partner “out of love” came back because they missed the person they left or is the wishful thinking?

Thanks!!!