Your Questions About Marriage Counseling Questions And Answers

Is my marriage over?

Please see my previous questions for the entire story up to this point, if you want to know every detail. We are now in marriage counselling, but living separately. He is still being pretty mean to me when we talk outside of counselling and saying he doesn’t have a problem, I do. He says he doesn’t love the person I am, only the person I was and he’s happy without me in the house (which I think is another head game to try to get me to beg to come back). He’s talking to me and telling me to call later, but then refusing to answer the phone or return my calls (again, a control game). I also think there’s a chance he’s seeing someone else, but that’s just a chance…I’m fairly quick to assume that with people. Should I even be bothering with counselling after all this? Is my new marriage with my new baby divorce-bound or is there a chance we might be able to work this out? He says he wants to, but the acts like he doesn’t. Thanks in advance for your answers.

I was given a marriage ultimatum..?

My now husband and I met when I was 15 and he was 16, we got along great, everything seemed to be going fine (at that age it always is) 3 months after we started dating, I found out I was pregnant. I had my daughter prematurely at 7 months, she was in the hospital for 2 months following her birth. We stayed in a hotel and visited her everyday. After my daughter was born, I was in the house for the entire first year she was born. I didn’t leave the house, I didn’t go to the store, I didn’t do anything. I don’t know if it’s some sort of resentment but I found myself wanting out of the relationship with my daughter’s father; this lasted for 2 years. We’ve cheated on one another, we’ve hit one another, we’ve lied to one another, we’ve neglected one another. Now, we’ve never tried to make this confusing for our daughter, we’ve always tried to think of her first when it came to our arguments. This last year, I felt myself wanting nothing to do with him and I was actually surprisingly happy when he was gone from us. He ended up getting orders to deploy early last year, we were not together at the time he received the orders for deployment. We had gotten back together in July and decided to give it another shot, when he found out that we needed to do a Family Care Plan and that we needed to go to court for Child Support, he didn’t seem to do much and kept putting it off until it was too late to do the paperwork. He proposed to me in October, I told him no and I explained that I wanted to work on the relationship first. I wanted counseling and I wanted time to ease back into things and not rush. Two days before he deployed he gave me an ultimatum, he told me that if we didn’t get married that he was gone for good and there was no coming back..I’m not really sure why I let an ultimatum get the best of me. I told him no again, and the night before he deployed he said it to me again “Marry me or I’m gone” throughout this time I’ve continued to tell him that we NEED counseling, there’s no going back on what we did and our relationship has suffered tremendously. So I finally caved, and I married him the night before he deployed. I found myself crying during the marriage vows; but it wasn’t a happy cry, it was an ‘I felt forced’ cry. What I’m asking is..Was this the right decision to make? Was it right of him to give me an ultimatum even though he knew we needed to work on ourselves before we took the next step? What happens when he comes back and I don’t want to do this anymore? I know this is long, but if you could answer those questions and maybe put input in yourself, I would really appreciate it. I want honest answers, but not hurtful ones. Thank you!
Every one of these answers have been SO SO helpful!

How can I fix this marraige (Long stry)?

Ok so this all started because I spilled kool aid on my nefew-in-law’s PSP. The guy is 19 years old and has like 5 others at home and during the time of the issue I was on the phone asking about my doctor’s test results. I know I screwed up. However my husband got mad and said now we have to use the money saved to get my digital camera I NEED FOR COLLEGE WORK on a new PSP for his nefew. Well I messed up and said:
Me: Sorry, he’s got 5 others there’s no need to spend the money RIGHT NOW
Hubby: No we have to get him a new one!
Me: He’s got others at home plus I thought you said he GAVE this one to us
Hubby: No it’s his. Who cares about your stupid camera this is more importat
Me: NO IT”S NOT I NEED A CAMERA! YOUR NEFEW DOESN”T NEED A NEW PSP RIGHT THIS SECOND!
It’s goes on from there. He spits in my hair and face and calls me a whore and 2 timing and cheating and saying I’ve been seeing someone else because why else would I have constant vaginal infection. He grabs me and pushes me outside. I go back in and yell about how his deceased parents would be horrified to know how he thinks of me all the time and treats me. He grabs my glasses and threatens to break them saying how dare I say that and that my parents never loved me blah blah blah
Well….I get pissed….and I start….beating him up…I grab his shirt, hit his back scratched whatever I could get ahold of kicked him in the balls I was trying so hard to get my glasses back and to make him shut up about me being a whore and my parents never loving me.
Finally he grabs my son loads him up in the carseat and leaves. My son is currently at my SIL house I haven’t seen or heard from them all day….I know I shouldn’t have done ANY of that…..I never should have hit him I was STUPID STUPID STUPID for doing it…..I’m lucky I’m not locked up cause I should be! Thing is is he claims he’ll be back tonight to talk but I’m so scared he’s just gonna go to his sisters house and not ever come back….what I want to know is if that happens can I call the police saying my husband took my child away from me or if I do, could his sister press charges about me hitting him and instead of getting my baby I get hauled off to jail…….
Also please answer my other question about free marriage counseling….I know we need it…..also about anger management.

Marriage Question?

I just asked this question, but it was put in the wrong category. If you already answered, thank you and I’m sorry:
I was married young and my husband was very physically abusive. We separated, and I wanted to remain married and go to counseling, so refused to sign the anullment papers twice, but was sued for divorce. While I was separated pending divorce, I dated. A few years after the divorce was final, I remarried, am still married, and have a daughter. I was told that the bible says (book of Matthew) that I’ve basically committed adultery all over the place for first dating when I wasn’t officially divorced, and also for remarrying. This is my husband’s second marriage, too, so I’m told he has also committed this sin. Can I be forgiven for this? I truly didn’t even know it was a sin when I did it and now I feel really bad about it!
Mac- I am long since divorced from my first husband, so getting annulment papers is not applicable.

Also, I was not married in the church the first time. I was married by the mayor on church grounds, but not IN the church and not by a pastor.