Mandy asks…
How long would you be on Valtrex 500 mg for genital herpes and how many mg can you take per day?
Physician gives Rx for Valtrex 500 mg – taking 1500 mg per take – you are given 120 tablets/capsules – I have asked a 2 questions in reference to genital herpes; I have been seperated from my husband since Dec 10th 2005; “we” have not been sexually active. I have recently found out that he was prescribed 120 Valtrex 500 mg and received the Rx on 4/7 – We are in marriage counseling, and out next session is on 4/18. Also he has been prescribed 100 of prednisone 10 mg? Help me understand this!
MarriageCounseling answers:
From what I understand, 500mg of Valtrex once a day is the general prescription for daily use/prevention of outbreaks.
That being said, the side effects of Valtrex is minimal for most people.
Prednisone is a steroid which can be used to treat some skin disorders (I have sensitive skin and a few times have broken out in hives and been prescribed that).
I would talk to your doctor, though.
Unless you’re having an outbreak, I would question the 1500 mg daily of Valtrex.
Richard asks…
A serious question regarding Sexual counseling, Childhood Abuse and the impact it is having on my marriage.?
It maybe helpful for me to tell you that I am a survivor of prolonged and severe violent incest as a child via my brother and later moved to my mother’s where I was raped by my stepfather.
My husband and I got into a discussion earlier today and he started asking me a bunch of sexually related questions in which he came to realize that although I participate in all of his degrading sexual fetishes that I don’t get any personal pleasure from them. The conversation continued and I explained to him that I don’t really like cumming either. It’s too much and it’s uncomfortable for me…psychologically.
I do, however very much enjoy making him happy to the extent that whatever I am doing doesn’t bother me but apparently that’s not good enough.
I just don’t know…I’m a bit confused. You see, I just always had sex with people I wanted to be involved with anyway because I am expected to and…I guess I just don’t feel like anyone really loves me so I’ve always just done whatever my lover wanted because sex is the only thing anyone has ever wanted me for.
to be honest, sex only ever feels comfortable to me if it is violent. It’s much more likely for me to feel comfortable during sex if my hubby is choking me, slapping me, or ******* me in the *** so hard that I cry.
It makes me feel like someone needs me/wants me, and I have a purpose, that I’m not a failure.
My hubby wants to take me to a sex therapist now…do you think that’s needed?
And what’s the big deal anyway? I thought all guys wanted a girl who would do anything with them no matter how degrading because they find comfort in making YOU happy.
Lastly do you think that counseling will help me enjoy orgasming?
To jim: Your right, I don’t like being held. I usually avoid it or do it because he wants me next to him but I rarely enjoy it. I still long for that interaction though…even though I am uncomfortable with it.
MarriageCounseling answers:
I really do agree with the other answers so far, that counseling will be a big help to you.
Until then, here are my impressions of your situation, based on the information in your question;
It seems to me that you may not enjoy orgasm because it is only a physical pleasure.
This gives you two problems. One, your “sexual training” taught you not to enjoy sex, so having an orgasm feels like you did it wrong, somehow. Two, the pleasure of your orgasm is only physical, and does not include any feeling of joy from the intimacy, trust, and love in the act, or knowing the support and partnership in creating the sexual experience.
You expect to be used. That is your normal sexual experience. If it seems degrading, dehumanizing or humiliating, then is seems correct. It’s the way you were able to get through the life you were forced to lead. It seems like a service you are providing, rather than intimacy.
You will need to learn a new form of sexual response, almost as though you were a virgin coming new to a more average sexual experience – one that does not include the kinky, degrading, fetishes, s/m, t/b, l/w/c, etc. But explores other sensations that are gained from gentleness, tenderness and concern.
It will take time, of course, and work, and will seem on the surface to be too dull, uninteresting, even boring compared to the type of sex you are used to, and I am not saying there is anything wrong with that kind of play. But it just isn’t the kind you need right now. You need to discover making love all over again.
You are partly right, that men like that women want to do things to make them happy, but in a mature, or rather a REAL relationship, that desire is mutual, not from a feeling of being useful and therefore of some value (a slave perspective), but from a concern that each partner in the relationship has for the other’s pleasure, building shared good experiences, heck, generally becoming two parts of a whole, because in love, it makes you both better people, bringing out the best in each other, helping each other grow because anything less would be betrayal. And frankly, doing what they want just to keep them happy… That’s not good. It seems more like a survival tactic while being raped, as though in your mind, rape is the standard.
I may be assuming too much, and if so, I’m sorry. I hope that you will be able to achieve some substantial progress in your relationship, with some counseling. At worst, even if the counseling does not seem successful, it will at least help you see your partner as a person similar to yourself, and let you communicate a little better.
John asks…
I asked if he would go to counseling what do I do now?
Ok so this is my previous question
WHAT SHOULD I DO? IM STUCK AND CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHETHER I WANT TO STAY OR LEAVE!?
I RECENTLY GOT MARRIED IN MARCH 2010 AND HAVE BEEN WITH MY HUSBAND FOR 5 YEARS NOW. WE HAVE A DAUGHTER TOGETHER, BUT THINGS BETWEEN US HAVE BEEN GOING DOWN HILL FOR SO LONG I FEEL LIKE ASKING MY SELF WHY DID I DECIDE TO GET MARRIED? I MEAN YES I REALLY DO LOVE HIM, BUT HE IS VERBALLY ABUSIVE AND JUST DOESN’T CARE ABOUT ANYONE EXCEPT HIMSELF. I FEEL LIKE IM LOSING LOVE FOR HIM AND IT HURTS. I’M SCARED TO ASK HIM TO GO TO COUNSELING BECAUSE OF WHAT THE OUTCOME MIGHT BE. HE FINDS ANY LITTLE REASON TO ARGUE WITH ME AND FRANKLY IM JUST SICK OF IT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS?
Now I asked him if he would go to marriage counseling and he though it was a joke. I explained to him that I was serious. Last night we got into a huge fight because he never wants to go anywhere with me ever. I mean he litterally just wants to sit in the house and play his damn ps3 all day and pay no attention to me. My grandmother came from mexico yesterday and we were suppose to go together to see her. So I told him if you can’t go anywhere with me, do anything with me, or go to counseling with me then I didn’t want to be with him anymore. After a sad facial expression he decided to be a smart ass and say whatever I don’t care. How exactly do I handle this? I don’t understand why he has to act in this childish manner and treat me like a piece of garbage.
MarriageCounseling answers:
Dam idk what to say…..seems like all the other answerers covered everything I wanted to say!
Lol…well you know what to do….especially now it should be much easier to do it if you know what I mean……it’s not like nobody wants to be with you.
Carol asks…
What kind of results have people had with marriage counselors??
Wife and I are considering a divorce. 1 years now and 2 children, there’s just nothing there anymore, don’t hate each other or anything, just nothing there. Tried everything besides counseling, that is the next step. Anyone ever gone to a counselor? What happened? What questions do they ask? Thanks for the answers.
Correction 11 years of marriage, sorry, my error.
What does it cost?
MarriageCounseling answers:
I went when we were first married because we didn’t know how to argue without it getting out of hand.
I can give you a 2 points of advice….
1….all counselors are not the same you sometimes have to see a few before you find one you’re comfortable with
2….you have to be open and honest….you can’t be helped if you hide things
I went alone because my husband didn’t feel comfortable going….but It helped us a lot….we’ve been happily married 34 years.
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