Your Questions About Marriage Counseling Advice Money

My spouse has said I need counseling,I say we both do?

We have been married 18 1/2 yrs. Having a lot of fights, and I want to go to marriage counseling, but he wont. He drinks and drives, drops what hes doing for our family and goes and helps his alcoholic friend and spends money we dont have, we live week to week. I’m ready for a divorce but have 2 teanager and still love him.. Got any advice?

Advice on Dealing with Emotionally Abusive Ex Husband?

I was married to my husband for one year before finding out he cheated one me with several women and even went so far as to cheat on me via text, on our wedding night and my birthday He refused to work on our relationship, blamed me for pushing him away yet never told me exactly what I did to push him away, and after I kicked him out he told me he was so happy to be away from me and hated me. Yet, he would continue to constantly text me to ask how I was doing, say he wanted to be my friend and pressure me for sex, and then tell me how glad he is that we are divorced. He refused to work on our marriage even though I was willing to go to marriage counseling, and he stalled the divorce process and put me under so much legal stress I was hospitalized briefly. He makes me so uncomfortable. We have a small daughter together and we must communicate due to that. I dread when I have to talk to him or see him, he is always so rude, berative and treats me like I am poo on the bottom of his shoe, I have never seen a human being act so annoyed at another person, the way he treats me.

With that said, I need advice. He left his dog at the house after he moved out and only buys it food if I ask and ask and ask. I am at my wit’s end. I am a struggling single mom with minimal money. I cant afford to keep buying the dog food! Tonight I texted him that I need the food for his dog and how I have no money and he told me “Grow Up.” I told him he owns the dog and needs to help and all he texts back is “legal?” he is extremely passive agressive.

How do you deal with somebody like this? When I have to communicate, what do you suggest? Is there any way to communicate without him being emotionally abusive to me? After any contact with him I feel so low and beaten down. I have tried ignoring him for days on end but he will bust up my phone with texts. I have tried being sweet and nice but he gets even nastier and meaner. I am buying a house on my own next month (yay my first home!) and I am getting my degree which I never did when I was a stay at home mom. I work full time, and its like when I have success he becomes so mean I can barely tolerate it.

Help!

can marriage still work if separated ?

I just recently got separated, 1wk we are living separate looking into a separation agreement. We have three kids two biological one i had befoe we met…am from africa been here five yrs and since we met we had major ups and downs and affairs on both sides….we still remained married and continued to make it work..we moved and decided to start over..been going to marriage counseling till last week when everything exploded on the discussion on finances : briefly i feel we have to be one in everything but my estranged hubby works, i stay at home and when the money comes in he runs the finances and pays his bills not myne…has one account where all the money goes to and has not put me in it.
so with that said..he didnt agree on beingone as a couple…so we get home and says he wants a separation and he wants me to leave…so i left the next day withthe kids and staying at a neighbours till i get myself situated..i still love him but he has a lawyer and seems hopeless, any advice?

Serious doubts about marriage – alcohol a major problem?

I’m seeking some desperately needed advice. I am 21 yrs old, have only been married for about 8 months and am having serious doubts about my marriage. the first 5 months of my marriage was destroyed by my husband’s alcohol problem. he was drunk 4-5 days out of the week, spending a lot of money on alcoholl and not working. it was without a doubt the worst time in my life. when drunk my husband is very verbally abusive and threatening. although he has never phsyically hurt me, the emotional scars are very deep. in january i left him for 5 days and stayed with my mother. i eventually went back as he promised to go to aa and get a job. he went to aa a few times and got a job with me. for 3 months he didn’t drink and we got along very well. at the end of march i began to suspect he was drinking again but not freqently. i first i didnt talk about it because i didn’t want to “realize” it. now he has drank several times recently and gone back to his mean ways. I addressed it wth him this time through email because he wouldn’t talk to me about it at home. he wrote back a very heartfelt letter of apology. i suggested we go to marriage counseling but he won’t talk about that. since this happened he has been drunk a few more times. i’m incredibly tired of this. i have a million goals and dreams and am a very ambitious person. i feel as if his refusal to stop drinking is going to hold me back. yet i do love him and do love the times we have together when he is sober. however i promised myself i would never go back to that lifestyle of living with his drinking and cruelty.

i would greatly appreciate anyone’s input/experience abotu this issue. i should add that having witnessed someone’s alcoholic tendencies for as long as i have, i still do not entirely believe alcoholism is a true disease. if my husband wanted to stop i believe he would make the effort to, not just find a better way to hide it. thanks!