Your Questions About Marriage Counselling Online

ok so i added more details need some advice from married couples?

so me and my hubby are not going great im 18 he is 21 we have been married for 2 years we have 2 kids and im 5 months pregnant and well today my husband told me we need to separate not get a divorce so i left and now im not staying at home he is me and the kids are staying with my mom and we talked and we are going to try to work it out one last time so im wondering if there is any were i could do online marriage counseling because right now im staying in a town of 50 people i love my husband i thought i wanted it to be over but i don’tnow that i know what im losing my husband and bro live in our house currently my husband said its too quiet to my brother and is not at home now he said he was going out im sure he went to drink witch is one of our problems also i was wondering if there is any thing i could do to try to make it better his biggest problem is that we fight a lot over every thing little things big thing any thing he can say something and it will piss me off or i could say something and it will make him mad like i can ask him to help me and he gets mad and he could say something about hagin out with friends and it will make me mad my biggest problem is not spending time together and lack of communication
i did not ask for u criticize me i asked for help and i was 15 when i had my son but at least i did not kill him also only god can judge me

marriage counseling scam?

my wife and i are looking for a marriage counselor. we called a few places and found one guy who seemed ok. so we pre-interviewed and both told him all kinds of intimate details about our relationship. then we found out that he wanted to do everything by phone. it sounded like a scam to me, like he was going to take our money and we’d just have a “counselor” on the phone to talk to.

we decided we weren’t comfortable with this, and found a place that we can actually sit down with a counselor, but i’m very uneasy about the other guy now. we told him all kinds of private things, and he’s got our phone number and address.

i tried researching him online afterwards, and can’t find any info about him, except a livejournal page (unprofessional) where a bunch of people are asking him to stop friending them. (spammer?)

is this “counseling by phone” legitimate? should i make a complaint to someone? who would i complain to about something like that?

state = florida, if that matters.

Why do so many of you think marriage counseling is going to fix it all?

From being online and from the people I have talked to most of the time marriage counseling actually confuses the situation more. Do you really beleive someone who’s livlihood depends on you coming back and back to them spending 100.00/hr is going to suddenly tell you, you’re fixed now guys, you can go home and live happily? Why would they cut off their own money supply, that’s how they keep a roof over their heads telling you how screwed up your marriage is right?
Sarah Jane you are correct, I do not trust any person who depends on my money for their livelihood, that’s why I’m successful in life.

help with marriage.. long, sorry?

have been married to my one love, whom I believe is the person God had put on this earth for me, however I’m starting to doubt whether or not he will love me just as true as I do him and if staying with him is worth the heartache in the longrun and if I’m just holding out for something that may be just in my mind and not reality.
We have 2 daughters and 14 wks pregnant with another. Due to my military obligation, we were living apart for four years, now we’re living together, but a lot has happened in the last year. Just a year ago he had an affair with a co-worker, which I found out through text messages from her to him and emails. Then I do more digging, and it looks like he was cheating on me with various other girls and via online dating sites throughout us dating and marriage. When I confront him with all, he denys and wouldnt admit the truth until almost dec 08.
We decided to move and start fresh four months ago, he moved 3 weeks before me. Then I find out that just before I went down here, he was going bar hopping with some (male) coworkers, but they would flirt with other women and there was a number in his phone, we’ll call Jill- he says it was to hook up Jill’s friend with his, who is female-shy. I call Jill and she says that’s the truth but my husband didnt act married and was very flirtatious. I asked him to go with me to marriage counseling, he said no until we found out that I was pregnant and that was only because he hoped the counselor would convince me that having the baby was not a good idea- ie get an abortion and I believe that I would be murdering an innocent baby. He has stated things like “I wish I didnt have the stress/ responsibility of a family at this age” and “I wish I was able to do things like every other 25 yr old.” etc (Im 25 too) I have asked him to reassure me that he didnt mean those comments and he side-steps my request, and acted like he didnt understand. So I get mad, and throw a “girl” tantrum and say if you dont understand by now what I need, I dont know how else to tell you.
I just feel like, hes the one who keeps messing up, and I’ve told him and WROTE him things that I need to feel reassured, and if I keep telling him that I need reassurance, etc. or what to do to make me feel better, than its more of me telling him what to do and nagging, than for him to really realize okay I screwed up and need to do that so I can show how apologetic I feel for keep on messing up and to be sincere. For example, I asked him to show me affection in a non-sexual way and remind me that he does love me, he jokes about it by saying at the end of the day “did I meet my I love you quota for the day?” I still feel like he just gropes me and push away when I think he’s going to far (sexual undertone) and not just showing affection.
My own self-esteem has also plummted because I am very different from all girls he’s ever dated. I’m asian, I’m athletic built (size from soccer and rugby, conservative with strong religious beliefs, and after 2 kids in 2 years with the stretch marks and 10 lbs baby weight left over and now getting bigger with baby 3. His other girlfriends and the girls hes cheated with/talked to were white (blonde), size 4/6 petiteness, and they were all party girls with the drinking/ piercing/ high school rebellious drug/party/drink stage, which he has in common with them. I think he makes me the “bad” guy to all his friends/family because they notice my insecurities/ calling him when hes at work and they think I’m trying to control him, but he doesnt mention the whys of it all and just say something like “yea, the wife is clingy.” The new baby- he said that I’m forcing it upon him since he doesnt want it, and I wont get “rid” of it. Within the last week, hes been more involved with my pregnancy and asking me how the baby’s doing.
He says he loves me since I am so different and he sometimes wants to “keep his cake and eat it too.” His version of moving on/ helping is by pretending everything he’s done has never happened because then I’m “dwelling” on it and it’s not doing anything productive to move past it.
My mind- I love him, simple, because it wasnt all bad. Until his affair, I thought everything was perfect, but it was just one bomb after another isnce. We never had a chance to really be together as a family and I have to give it a chance to see if it will work, if not for myself then at least for my kids. But I get my doubts and think was I loving who I thought he was, and not who he really is? Does he really love me because if he did he wouldnt keep doing this to me? Wouldnt he try to understand where Im coming from and help me out instead of always doing things his way? And it breaks my heart every day thinking about this because I dont feel like I’ve gotten any closure/ healing from even last year so how can I deal with whats going on today and last month? I got out of the army, moved, dont have a job, I dont have any family to lean on, but I do have 2 be
To Jason, you will not go to Hell for getting a divorice in cases of abuse or adultery. I went to my pastor and he has told me so himself and showed me passages. Maybe you should read the Bible more thouroughly.