Your Questions About Pre Marriage Counseling

Why does my husband put me second?

No matter what the situation, my husband will always place his parents feelings, wants and desires above mine. He has said that he is afraid that if he stands up to his parents that they will cut him off, which they have in the past by not speaking to him for 2 years because he took my side once, so it is safer for him to fight with me than with them. Okay, I’ve seen what he is talking about and I understand his fears, but I’m fed up with his choice to have peace with his parents instead of me. We have been married for 19 years with 2 pre teen children. I’ve lost out on years and years of holidays with my family because he would fight and fight and fight until I agreed to make plans with his family first regardless of my families schedule. I feel used, abused and not particular honorable towards him anymore. Our marriage is legal, but I can’t believe that we are married in God’s eyes simply because he has never left his parents to cleave to me. We did go to counseling about 6 years into our marriage through our church and I was told that the church would support a divorce if I wanted to leave because the only marriage vow he had kept, (or I could not prove he had broken) was that of fidelity. I’m getting more miserable and depressed as each year goes on. Is there anyone out there with a similar situation? If so how have you been able to cope?
I was just barely 18 when I got married, so NO I didn’t know anything, I was very young and naive. Our latest 3 day fight was over this Thanksgiving. Divorcing is much easier said than done.

What can I do about my husband getting temporary custody of my daughter in Texas?

My husband kicked me out of our apartment in January and served me with divorce papers on February 14 of this year. He has an attorney, but because he kicked me out with no money, I wasn’t able to afford one. Along with the petition for divorce, there was a request for temporary custody of our four year old daughter. Our court date was set for March 5. Around the end of February I talked him into going to counseling with me to try and save our marriage. Because of this, he assured me that he talked to his attorney and put the divorce “on hold”. I never got anything in writing stating this though. Neither one of us showed up for our court date in March. I was under the impression that the court date was going to be moved to another date or the divorce would just be dropped. Because he kicked me out, I had to move home to my parent’s house that was three hours away from where me and my husband lived. We “traded” our daughter out every other week, making sure that we both had equal time with her. When he decided to quit counseling, he told me that he wanted to go ahead with the divorce. I still was not able to afford an attorney. I applied for legal aid and called every women’s shelter or help I could find. (Still haven’t received any calls back from anyone.) All the attorneys I talk to are wanting to charge at least $4000 to get started. Even though I got a job, I don’t have anywhere near that amount of money. He told me that he was putting her in school and that I would only be able to see her on the weekends. I begged him not to do that because I have to work EVERY weekend at my job and I have two days off DURING the week that I could take care of her. I asked him if he would let me have her during the week and he could have her on the weekends because he’s off every weekend. He refused. When I got her this last time, I called him and told him that I was keeping her. I’m paying her insurance and even got medicaid and food stamps for her. I enrolled her in pre-k because I was informed that I had to do this while getting government help. My problem is that he was able to get temporary custody of her. I’m sure that he was able to do this because I didn’t go to the court date in March and maybe the judge gave our case a default judgement. He came yesterday with a sheriff’s deputy and took her away. What can I do? I need my daughter with me. She LOVES her school and begged her grandfather to not make her go with him. I’m confused and worried about this whole situation. If there are any attorneys in Texas that can help me, please let me know…
Yes… This is awfully long. And I’m extremely worried and stressed out. I need help, not statements about how long my questions is…
I did check to make sure that there is no other court date. So far, there is nothing on the docket and the clerk said that NOTHING has been done with this case. No new information on it. Also… I honestly cannot think of another reason why the judge would give him temporary custody except for the fact that neither of us went to court in March. I’ve done nothing else…

Contraception & Catholicism?

Hi,

My boyfriend and I are looking to get engaged. He is a practicing Catholic and I am spitiual but not religious. I was christened Church of England. I am taking the pill for health reasons which my boyfriend is aware of. Do you think this will be a problem during our pre-marriage religious counselling? My doctor has told me theres nothing else I can take and Im scared of what the priests will say.

I appreciate you help! Thanks
My boyfriend is a practicing Catholic (doesnt have pre-martial sex) and I accept that. I am on the pill for health (not contraceptive) reasons

Are marriage licenses given the same day you apply for them?

so my boyfriend and i are planning to get married in september. he’s a marine stationed in japan though, which means he would be here to apply for a license three months prior to the wedding which is how long the license is valid for. we’re not engaged yet because at the moment we’re receiving pre-marriage counseling at our church, so we feel it wouldn’t make sense to apply before i even have a ring on my finger. so the only thing i could think of doing is to apply for a license the day after the wedding (that is of course if the license is given the very same day you apply for it.) and that way he’ll be there and it wont interfere with his 30 days of leave we have to enjoy as newly weds. so can it be done? please and thank you
in california