Your Questions About Marriage Counseling Advice

Can couples/marriage counseling actually increase desire??

I was wanting some real life experiences to be posted. My longtime GF (7 years) and I need some sexual counseling (she has no desire anymore, the 1st 5 years were great, we have talked and talked and we decided on counseling) stories/results. I have talked to older men (we’re only 23) and they tell me to run while I can b/c desire doesn’t change, meaning we can go for counseling but it will never change the desire factor. I don’t want to get married and have kids and then get stuck with no sex for the rest of my life, does counseling work? I hope this doesn’t sound selfish, I love her and have been completely faithful even though we haven’t had sex in two years. I’m just trying to make a life decision. I would prefer female advice/experience, most older guys have told me to leave before marriage and kids, while I still have a chance. I wanted to hear the woman’s perspective. Thanks…
Yeah, we’ve also only been with each other.

How will counseling help a marriage?

I am so fed up with my husband’s laziness to get his license and drive when i have to do all the driving, Him living on SSI and not trying to get a job and succeed, and Sleeping until twelve in the afternoon and making me get up with our daughter. I hate being married to him!!! Will counseling even help me with the tromendous amount of reluctance I have to stay in the marriage? I work every week night. I hate living with him! Plus we do not get along. I married him when i was young and stupid. I think it will take a miracle to make me want to stay, not counseling. Any advice?

advice needed from marriage veterans….?

My husband and I have been married 1 year. We both met and fell in love quickly – we are in our 30s. We got married 8 months later. Since then — its just been issue after issue, adjustment after adjustment, drama after drama…..it just feels like there is an emotional fight every week.

There always seems to be a lot of tension. We both have issues. I go to counseling to deal with trauma from my past. We go to marriage counseling to learn to communicate better….but I really feel that he has AS MUCH baggage and sometimes more as me. much of it that he is unaware of and wont’ acknowledge — but ends up being extremely defensive and “snappy” about things if it is discussed.

Sometimes I wonder how much “drama”/adjustment/and fighting is normal in the first year of marriage….did I make a big mistake? I know two people need to want it — we both want it…..but sometimes I CRAVE the simplicity of being alone and not having to deal with constant interpersonal drama.

thoughts and comments?

thank you.
Wow — completely different sets of ideas of what “most couples” do…interesting!

Need advice on my marriage?

I am married to an overall good person but latley he has took a nose dive and is ruinning our marriage. He has mental problems first of all. He was diagnosed with severe moderate depression and pshycotic features. He has been hospitialized cause he said he was going to kill himself. He told our kids that too. He already had the gun out and all and scared the hell out of our middle kid. They changed his meds and he said he felt fine after a week there. But since then and even before then he has been self medicating by drinking alot taking to much of his meds and gettting high with them and has started smoking pot. he seems to think he doesnt have a problem. he can get very verbally abusive when he gets like this and doesnt remember things. I have suggested he stop and he says he will but then turns around and keeps doing it. I am so sick of it and dont know what else to do. I have told him how i feel and he says that it will be ok. I am seriously thinking of taking my kids and leaving cause I dont know how much more I can deal with. To get through my days I have been taking anti-depressants too. But I shouldnt have to take pills to live with someone. I have suggested marriage counseling but he said he sees no need for that.

So what do yall think?
I know that this doesnt give me an excuse but he isnt abusive or anything to the kids. They love their dad and are not scared of him. But I just dont want them to grow up like this.
He says that going to a therapist is a waste of time and money that they dont do anything for him. And he has told me if i ever leave him he will kill his self
And I just want everyone to know that I have stood by his side through everything trying to get him help and being supportive but just isnt enough. If it hadnt been for me he would never have went to a therapist in the first place now he says their just quacks
All i can think about is how i want to leave but how hurt he will be if i take me and the kids out of the picture. he says if he loses me and the kids he has nothing left and that he will lose his best friend and wife. he works hard to take care of us as i am a stay at home mom by his choice and I have to make a plan to leave and have some help cause i have no family that I can stay with or that can help me finacially. Everything we have is in his name including my car. I have nothing.