Your Questions About Marriage Counseling Books


Michael asks…

Do you feel attacked in marriage counseling?

Went to my fifth marriage counseling visit yesterday and do homework every week, I’ve been married three years my wife moved to her mom’s house about 2 miles away a year ago due to my wife’s illness, she needed help with our son 2yrs old. Her being gone strained our relationship which we are now working on. The counseling focuses on changing yourself and so does the homework, so at the beginning yesterday I talk about my book and what I learned then my wife talked about hers and then quickly said and after reading about men, I insist my husband goes alone to talk about his past, his up bringing etc. I have been verbally mean in some instances but mostly I felt abandoned the last year, I have no history of any violence or abuse growing up or in this relationship, but my wife insist I go alone to “get straightened out”, I agreed but am disappointed, our counselor said “going alone is okay but can’t my wife just start fresh”, to which my wife replies not until I go alone. I just feel like counseling should be about both starting fresh and moving forward, why is she so stubborn? Thanks

MarriageCounseling answers:

Unfortunately when people say they want counseling as a couple they pull the blame game and say it’s their partner with the issue, not them. Go alone and be honest with your upbringing and how you feel. Counselor isn’t there to tell you how to live your life but to be a mediator of communication…keep that in mind.

Richard asks…

Any good Christian Newley-wed books out there?

My fiance and I can’t really afford marriage counseling but we decided to at least read some books that might help us better prepare for marriage. Anyone have any reccomendations?

MarriageCounseling answers:

There is “the Love Dare” that many are talking about that was brought to attention in the movie Fireproof. It is intended for married couples but may be useful, I am married and I like it.

100 Huntley is having a series over the first 40 days of 2010 and has 3 couples blogging etc. One is an arranged marriage (26 years), one is 21 years and another couple is recently married.

Http://100huntley.com/lovedare/author/huntley/

Focus on the Family has a wide selection of books too.

Http://family.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/easy_find?event=HPT&N=1034270+5501&Ne=1000000&Nso=1&Nu=product%2Eendeca%5Frollup&category=Books&Ns=product%2Ecbws%5Fnumber%5Fsold

Some churches will have counseling that probably are very inexpensive or free, check around.

Congratulations and God Bless

Charles asks…

Marriage book recommendations please?

Can anyone recommend a good marriage book? I’m looking for something I guess to help us get over some trust issues and to help with communication. We are not arguing, we talk, we kiss, have sex but we did just over come a major problem in our life. And for the first time in 10 years we actually both thought about seperating but decided to put everything out on the table and be honest with each other. We know what our problems are, we want to work on them but don’t really know where to start. We know it’s going to take a bit and we are willing to take it day by day but since Marriage counselling is not really an option for us right now I thought maybe there would be some good books out there that could help us.

There’s just way too many titles out there so maybe someone already knows of any good ones?

Thanks for any help! :)

MarriageCounseling answers:

5 Love Languages

Helen asks…

What are some good books to read before getting married?

My fiance and I will be starting premarital counseling soon and I was just wondering if you know of any good books to read about marriage or preparing for marriage?

MarriageCounseling answers:

I recommend everyone to read these:

Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Heartfelt-Commitment/dp/1881273156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1230653849&sr=1-1

Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl

http://www.amazon.com/Created-Be-His-Help-Meet/dp/1892112604/ref=pd_sim_b_5

Who Me? Obey Him? By Elizabeth Rice Hanford

http://www.amazon.com/Me-Obey-Him-Obedient-Happiness/dp/0873985516

1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married by Monica Lehay

http://www.amazon.com/1001-Questions-Ask-Before-Married/dp/0071438033/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1230653923&sr=1-2

I am so glad that you are going through premarital counseling, this is a very wise thing do.

How can you know for sure you’re marrying the “right” person?

The main causes of divorce are: infidelity, finances, addictions, abuse. If any of these are issues from previous relationships (or have come up in your relationship with the person) you know this isn’t the type of person you want to marry. I think you CAN know a person well enough before you marry them to know what to expect in a marriage with them. I think most people have a hard time examining the person they are marrying from a critical/analytical view point. But if you really want the marriage to last a lifetime you have to examine the person’s character traits.

God Bless You,
Becky

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