Your Questions About Marriage Counseling Advice Questions

Legal Advice/Marital Advice?

I’ve posted about my marrital problems before, but things are only getting worse. Let me give you some background and then finish my question at the end. I really need some advice. And I don’t need children responding or nonserious sarcastic responses please. This is a very serious situation for me.

I’ve been wondering for awhile if I’m just being too nice to my husband. I’m being perfectly honest and giving the full scenario. My husband and I have been married for six years and together over 7. We have one precious child. I was a stay at home Mom for 2.5 years and he works really hard outside the home. I already have one degree, but am going back to school to take it a little further now. I will have my BSN soon, which is very demanding. I go to school 4 days a week and work a part-time job on the weekends. We live fairly nicely and I don’t want or need for much. I am highly educated, but have decided to stay home with our son as much as possible, and I did for my pregnancy and the first 2.5 years of our son’s life. I clean the house top to bottom once a week, do all the laundry, iron my husband’s clothes, lay his clothes out at night before bed so he has them ready in the morning, have a home cooked dinner on the table every night at 6:30 (except for Fridays), take care of all the finances, take care of the vehicles, arrange for the yard to be taken care of, take care of our two dogs, keep myself fit and nice looking, give him sex just about everytime he wants it, pack his lunch every night, and I get up at 4 every morning with him and make his breakfast. Plus, I study every evening and work 13 hours at the local hospital for rotations on Wednesday.
I WOULD NOT have a problem with this at all if I felt appreciated, but he doesn’t. He does not say thank you and does nothing special for me ever. In the six years we’ve been married I’ve never even had an orgasm from him…I have to please myself. I would never ever cheat on him, so I just find ways to pleasure myself. He’s not abusive or anything, but I just feel neglected.
We have gone to marriage counseling, sex therapy, discussed this many many times, and nothing gets better. In fact, it’s getting worse.
I feel like he brings out the worst in me and I’m always irritated now. I have zero depression or anxiety by the way. I’m just at my witts end. I can’t give or do anymore. The stress is starting to eat away at my body too. The doctors have told me this for the past two years too. Because of all of the demands, I don’t get much sleep and I’m under constant stress. I’m starting to lose patches of my hair, have stomach ulcers, cystic acne, and heart problems. I’ve discussed this with my husband and he shows no concern. As a matter of fact, I was hospitalized back in April for a week and he never once came to see me at the hospital. I had to drive myself home actually. I have pretty major surgery too, but he never came up there.
He has also started fighting, professionally, just within the last two years. So, he drives to work first thing in the mornings, an hour away, then when he gets off work, he goes and trains. He doesn’t get home until 9 at night almost every evening. I feel like a single parent. He has only given our 3 year old son 3 or 4 baths in his whole life. He is almost never home.
OH! And to top it off, we have slept in seperate beds for over a year. I have tried and tried and tried to get him to change and be more of a family man and a partner, but nothing changes. He just doesn’t seem to understand he has a wife and child at home.
At any rate, without going on and on (because I could), I’m wondering if I should go ahead and seek legal advice and start my case against him? I have put this off for so long because of our son, but I’m beginning to realize my husband is never home anyway and I don’t want our son thinking that this is what marriage is all about. Plus, I hate how he sees us arguing and how my husband talks down to me. I don’t want him thinking that’s how to treat someone you love.
The thing is, I can’t go to school full time and afford this house and all of our bills. So, I’m going to have to wait to do the divorce completely until after I graduate in a year. But, I know it is going to be a fight. So, should I go ahead and start speaking with an attorney now?
And, for those of you who think I’m exagerating about what I do for him, or about the situation in general, I’m not. I’m being 100% honest. I have no reason to lie to anyone on here. I don’t even know any of you.
I was raised that you take care of your husband no matter what, good ol’ Southern girl. My parents have been married 30 years and my grandparents over 50. I took my vows to heart and never thought I’d ever be divorced. I just can’t continue at this rate.
And for those of you wondering if I have told him what I want and need pertaining to sexual needs, I have…many times. He truly does not care that I don’t get of
Once again, we’ve already done counseling…marriage and sex. No change…other suggestions are appreciated.
Wow Hana! You hit the nail on the head! Yes, he does come from a broken home. He is the oldest of three and his Mom was a single Mom. She had men in and out, most of whom beat the crap out of the kids. My husband was the father figure to his younger bro and sis. He had to be the breadwinner too because they were very very poor. His Mom works very hard and doesn’t do drugs or anything, but just had trouble making ends meet.
BUT, my husband has stated several times he doesn’t want to be absent like his Father was and he wants to teach our son what family is all about. But, he’s never home. I dupport him in all he does and I shoe a lot of appreciation for his hard work, so I’m not being one sided or expecting anything I don’t give in return. I just feel it should be more of a relationship/partnership/marriage than just feeling like I have a roommate who comes and goes whenever he wants. Thanks for your advice.

Should I Go Ahead And Just Give Up And Start Seeking Legal Advice?

I’ve posted about my marrital problems before, but things are only getting worse. Let me give you some background and then finish my question at the end. I really need some advice. And I don’t need children responding or nonserious sarcastic responses please. This is a very serious situation for me.

I’ve been wondering for awhile if I’m just being too nice to my husband. I’m being perfectly honest and giving the full scenario. My husband and I have been married for six years and together over 7. We have one precious child. I was a stay at home Mom for 2.5 years and he works really hard outside the home. I already have one degree, but am going back to school to take it a little further now. I will have my BSN soon, which is very demanding. I go to school 4 days a week and work a part-time job on the weekends. We live fairly nicely and I don’t want or need for much. I am highly educated, but have decided to stay home with our son as much as possible, and I did for my pregnancy and the first 2.5 years of our son’s life. I clean the house top to bottom once a week, do all the laundry, iron my husband’s clothes, lay his clothes out at night before bed so he has them ready in the morning, have a home cooked dinner on the table every night at 6:30 (except for Fridays), take care of all the finances, take care of the vehicles, arrange for the yard to be taken care of, take care of our two dogs, keep myself fit and nice looking, give him sex just about everytime he wants it, pack his lunch every night, and I get up at 4 every morning with him and make his breakfast. Plus, I study every evening and work 13 hours at the local hospital for rotations on Wednesday.
I WOULD NOT have a problem with this at all if I felt appreciated, but he doesn’t. He does not say thank you and does nothing special for me ever. In the six years we’ve been married I’ve never even had an orgasm from him…I have to please myself. I would never ever cheat on him, so I just find ways to pleasure myself. He’s not abusive or anything, but I just feel neglected.
We have gone to marriage counseling, sex therapy, discussed this many many times, and nothing gets better. In fact, it’s getting worse.
I feel like he brings out the worst in me and I’m always irritated now. I have zero depression or anxiety by the way. I’m just at my witts end. I can’t give or do anymore. The stress is starting to eat away at my body too. The doctors have told me this for the past two years too. Because of all of the demands, I don’t get much sleep and I’m under constant stress. I’m starting to lose patches of my hair, have stomach ulcers, cystic acne, and heart problems. I’ve discussed this with my husband and he shows no concern. As a matter of fact, I was hospitalized back in April for a week and he never once came to see me at the hospital. I had to drive myself home actually. I have pretty major surgery too, but he never came up there.
He has also started fighting, professionally, just within the last two years. So, he drives to work first thing in the mornings, an hour away, then when he gets off work, he goes and trains. He doesn’t get home until 9 at night almost every evening. I feel like a single parent. He has only given our 3 year old son 3 or 4 baths in his whole life. He is almost never home.
OH! And to top it off, we have slept in seperate beds for over a year. I have tried and tried and tried to get him to change and be more of a family man and a partner, but nothing changes. He just doesn’t seem to understand he has a wife and child at home.
At any rate, without going on and on (because I could), I’m wondering if I should go ahead and seek legal advice and start my case against him? I have put this off for so long because of our son, but I’m beginning to realize my husband is never home anyway and I don’t want our son thinking that this is what marriage is all about. Plus, I hate how he sees us arguing and how my husband talks down to me. I don’t want him thinking that’s how to treat someone you love.
The thing is, I can’t go to school full time and afford this house and all of our bills. So, I’m going to have to wait to do the divorce completely until after I graduate in a year. But, I know it is going to be a fight. So, should I go ahead and start speaking with an attorney now?
And, for those of you who think I’m exagerating about what I do for him, or about the situation in general, I’m not. I’m being 100% honest. I have no reason to lie to anyone on here. I don’t even know any of you.
I was raised that you take care of your husband no matter what, good ol’ Southern girl. My parents have been married 30 years and my grandparents over 50. I took my vows to heart and never thought I’d ever be divorced. I just can’t continue at this rate.
And for those of you wondering if I have told him what I want and need pertaining to sexual needs, I have…many times. He truly does not care that I don’t get of
Martha Stewart? Seriously? Come on. My life is not picture perfect or I would not have posted. And I have zero problem making myself happy, but I would like the intimacy with my husband.
And just because I enjoy domestic things does not mean I’m Martha Stewart. And if I don’t cook, clean, etc…it doesn’t get done. I refuse to live in filth. And I doubt Martha buys sexy lingerie, buys porno, and likes using all kinds of toys in the bedroom. So, no…I’m no Martha. Thanks for the jerk remark though…geeezzz…how are you a top contributor?

Could people who have been married for less than 5 years answer a few questions for me?

I just want to ask a few questions about the early years of marriage:
1. Describe a few adjustments that were unexpected when you first were married.
2. Is it true that good relationships cannot be on cruise control-they always need upkeep and care? If so, why?
3. If you felt your marriage needed help would you ever consider going to counseling? Why or why not?
4. What kinds of unique challenges did you both face in your first year of marriage?
5. Any advice you might give to a young couple just married?

Thanks for your help!

I want to leave my marriage but don’t think it is possible i’m nineteen with two kids and no where to go…?

HI my name is brandy i am nineteen with two kids and i am married i have decided after going to marriage counseling alone the best things for me and my kids will be to end my marriage i love my husband to death but he had hurt me so much and is an alcoholic and emotionally abusive my problem is i have no friends anymore and my family all lives away and wont let me move in with them anyways cause of past problems with my husband and we always got back together so i have no where to go i could leave and sleep in my car but with two children that is out of the question and i fear if i leave my kids while i get on my own two feet my husband will never let me see them again i do not know what to do anymore but i can not stay so i was wondering if you could offer some advice
i have no job with just having a baby we agreed i wouldnt get one and i can not send my kids to a family member as they are not able to care for them it seems kinda impossible
i am afraid to call the law on him with the fear my kids will hate me later he is on a suspended jail sentence right now for his third dui