Your Questions About Marriage Counseling Questions For Married Couples

Should I say something or keep quiet?

I know a couple who love the Lord only have been courting for 10 months and will marry in October they are so fill of joy and bliss and happily ever after, I have been married almost 17 years and in a stage in my marriage (although I love my spouse) where marriage has been very hard and the season of our lives and been trials, testings and tribulations for a long while. Should I tell this blushing bride to be what she will face in her marriage or keep quiet and let her figure it out for herself? although true love is there for my husband and I the “honeymoon” stage newlywed stage has worn off. Does marriage counseling now a days prepare a couple for when things start breaking down? This question has been very heavy on my mind so I thought I would post and thank you for your answers.

PS I am very happy for this couple that they want to get married but in all honesty I don’t think they TRULY know what they are getting themselves into.

just married question. my husband and i have been fighting alot lately. is this normal?

before we got married, i requested 2 things. first, that we join a health club, so we can stay healthy. secondly, that we continue our pre-martial counseling (which now makes it post). it’s 2x’s a month. $50. everytime i tell him about the appointment he says he doesn’t have the money. he can go out to eat all the time, but he can’t do this for me. i stay at home all day, never drive or go anywhere. i have a child and whatever we need i use the child support to get, which isn’t much.

we got into a very heated argument on his lunch time break. long story short. he said that he doesn’t blame his EX for ruining his marriage, as much as he does the other couple who “forced” her to have a threesome, not to mention the drugs, etc…

he told me that he’s let her know that he wants her back. then he said he was just saying that to hurt me. he lies alot. that’s why we’re in counseling.

i am not wanting to just go get a divorce. has anyone else had this happen?
ty to everyone for the very thoughtful replies. i call stretching the truth, lying. he thinks it’s entertaining. he has made great strides in therapy, as have i.

once again, thanks for your help.

Just need a husband’s point of view,…?

I have been married for two years now to a man that used to open doors, hold my hand, kiss me for no reason, remind me daily that he loved me. About a year ago he stopped suddenly. We’ve had some major life crisis; thrown at us (my mother passed away and they were close, he was hurt and unable to work) so I thought that might have been it. We’ve spent nearly the last 6 – 8 months sniping at each other and getting in these huge fights. Then we’d make up and things would be ok for a while. I began marriage counseling (alone) and realized my part in all this mess and truly have been working on my side of the problem. Then we had the mother of all fights 2 weeks ago and were close to calling it quits. For the first time in a long time we really talked and I thought we understood each other a little better. Until Sunday everything was fine and then it was back to his old routine, playing an online video game for hours and hours and basically ignoring me. And so the fight happened again. That’s the back story, now my question,

Husbands do you consider it being needy if your wife wants to do things with you?

Do you consider it being “up your ass” if your wife asks you questions like, “How much longer do you think you’ll be playing that game?”

Does your wife constantly have to suggest things for the two of you to do because you could care less if you ever did anything? How about this, do you ever want to spend time alone with your wife, go away for a quiet weekend together, dinner, a show, anything?

I ask these things because today my husband promptly announced that the past week and a half he’s been doing whatever it is that I wanted him to do just because he didn’t want to argue. He didn’t enjoy it and was quite pissed on Sunday when I suggested that we stay in bed just a little bit longer (mind you even though he was in bed with me he was playing his online video game.) I want to understand his point of view but I just don’t get it. I let him do pretty much everything that he wants to do, I never deny him anything and we have a pretty great sex life (there have only been two times I’ve ever turned him down and I had a broken rib and 3 dislocated knuckles when I did). What is it that I’m doing wrong that he just doesn’t get that a marriage needs to be worked on, a couple needs to do things together or they just end up apart and miserable. It’s ok if you think that I’m full of crap and that I’m wrong I’m not above apologizing if I am. I am just wondering that’s all.

Thanks in advance for the replies
Additional info for you: I work full time and am the majority breadwinner, he works part time and barely pays his child support. I tried to get him to go to counseling but he won’t go so forget about him reading any book on the subject. He just doesn’t see it. I didn’t force him to marry me he asked me. I don’t “need” him, I want him in my life. Does that make things a little clearer? I’m just trying to figure this out, trying to understand how we can see things so differently so that I can make it better.
More details for obnoixous man,….

I haven’t gained any weight since we got married, I don’t constantly “b*tch” at him but I get tired of living like a hermit all the time! He never does anything but sleep, play his online video game, work the few hours he’s scheduled every week and drink. You figure out where I’m going wrong there buddy!

Questions to Catholics?

So, my husband and I are going to visit my extended family (Aunt, uncle and a couple cousins) in a few months. They are very devout Catholics. I haven’t been in a church, Catholic or otherwise, since I was 14/15 years old. I know my marriage isn’t recognized by the Catholic church because we got married at the courthouse by a judge, never went to premarital counseling and my husband isn’t Catholic. It’s not really like they don’t know these things, it’s more they choose to ignore these things. They will probably invite us to go to church with them, which we don’t mind, but we kind of don’t know what should my husband do? I mean, what things should/shouldn’t he participate in? What about myself? I haven’t been to church in years and years. And what about the inevitable few little old ladies who remember me from when I was little and are feeling snoopy? The kind who will grill you for an hour on everything that happened in your life from the time you were 12 up till the present. How to politely get out of that conversation? Basically how can we not embarrass/offend my family at church?