Saving Your Marriage on Your Own

Love and marriage may go together like a horse and carriage but sometimes they become unhitched. Marriage without love is like a carriage without a horse…one without the other is not going anywhere. Perhaps your marriage is suffering a severe lack of love and you’re thinking about mounting the nearest available horse and getting the heck out of marriageville.

Wait! Maybe you and your spouse should seek counseling…or better yet be your own counselor.It can be done but it demands a saturated plan of action from both the spouse.

Most couples, in time of trouble, resort to their basic instincts of hate, disrespect, demands and anger.There goes the honour and love that will finally be replaced by hate which could turn out into separation.

You must take action to avoid divorce which is a life changing occurrence, usually not for the better.Make a plan to restore your love and respect.You’ve been playing your marriage by year day by day and trusting your inherent aptitude. This may work for awhile, even a few years, but as marriage breeds apathy you must seek and plan for a rekindling of that old flame

Remember how emotional you were when you first fell in love?When you’re in love with someone your feelings enable you to contribute to each other’s emotional needs.These range from being trustworthy, admiring, communicating and being lovable.You must have realize these qualities quite naturally early in your relationship. But, as love faded so did your emotions.

Love, no doubt, is the most important quality in a relationship but it takes more sometimes to make a marriage survive. It requires your readiness and ability to care and protect each other. Half hearted love and commitment will make it difficult to swim upstream when the waters get rough.

Know that love is both give and take, but if you’re keeping score of how much you give and your spouse takes your marriage might be doomed from the start. There will be both giving and receiving of bads and goods. Sometimes you’re the giver and sometimes the taker. Know how to do both with love and affection.

It may demand for a change in your behavioral method. If you’re prone to angry outbursts and criticizing replace these with calmness and compliments.Making your better half feel good is something you should enjoy doing. Husbands and wives need a certain amount of united attention. Don’t let volunteer work, family, work or children get in the way.

Being your own counselor you must learn to arbitrate and come to a joint contract that is pleasant and considerate. Look at the problems from all sides and that could include more than yours and your spouse.Brainstorm and offer productive solutions.If you get angry, stop mediating and come back later.

Nobody said marriage is easy and neither is being your own marriage counselor.You should make a move to become a better spouse in hopes of recovering your marriage.
Believe in yourself and you will believe in others.