Rosie from Arlington, Virginia writes that she had an affair with a coworker. She felt so guilty about it, and confessed to her husband. He says he forgives her; but sometimes he brings it up and says terrible things about her. Rosie says that she really loves him because he is a super father and a great husband, but doesn’t know what to do.
Rosie, one of the most damaging things that couples do is to always bring up the past. We all make mistakes. The important thing to do is to learn from these mistakes, and realize that your spouse will make a mistake sometime, and to forgive him or her. One trick that can definitely help when you’re husband brings it up is to drop your defenses. If you listen to his criticism, and stop getting defensive about it, eventually he will let the subject drop, because he will know that you are truly sorry about the incident.
Dr. Max Vogt is known as one
of America's top psychologists and
marriage counselors. His bestselling books, articles and programs have
been helping people have happy, successful marriages for over 25 years.
He considers his newest work,
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