She thought they would get married

Marianne from Minneapolis writes that her boyfriend is finishing graduate school soon, but wants to establish his career before getting married. She thought that they would get married after he graduated, and she now doesn’t know if she should wait for him.

Marianne,
In my book “You Don’t Have to Change Who You Are to Have a Great Marriage” I point out to couples that to see into the future, they sometimes have to look in the past. He may not want to commit to marriage so soon because his parents got married before they had a chance to establish themselves, or for a hundred other reasons. What is important for you to realize is that you have to accept your boyfriend (and that means his decision) 100%. If you can’t do this before you are married, you may not be able to do it after you are married. It may be hard for you to wait, but rushing him (and making him change his beliefs) could cause him to resent you in the future.