Theresa in Miami asks what she should do about her loss of sex drive. Her husband is starting to get annoyed, and has even said that he will find someone else to satisfy him if she doesn’t.
Sometimes low sex drive is caused by health issues, drugs or alcohol or other physical issues, but Theresa assured me she is healthy and doesn’t take drugs. I answered:
Theresa, you can’t change your husband’s behavior, but since you are writing to me, you probably want to change yours, right? Well, here’s how: write down all the reasons you don’t want to have sex with your husband. One of your beliefs might read: “he’s unromantic”. Now you are going to forget this belief and write a new one down to replace the old belief that is damaging your marriage. Here is an example of a new belief that you can use: “My husband is romantic in his own way.” Now you have to go and search for the proof for this new belief. The next time your husband helps you out, you can say to yourself: “See, he really does love me, he is romantic.” You will see a change within a week if you are really trying!
Dr. Max Vogt is known as one
of America's top psychologists and
marriage counselors. His bestselling books, articles and programs have
been helping people have happy, successful marriages for over 25 years.
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