If a couple needs marriage counseling after less than a year is it meant to be?

marriage is work. when u were dating, things were more laid back and causual. now u are more serious and things have changed. everyone goes through the shock of how things change. marriage is work, meaning, its not always pretty.

BTW: I am looking for members to join a new group on yahoo. It is for married couples to share stories, find support, and talk about WHATEVER. Also great for meeting other people who share the same experiences. the group is called : youngwivesgroup. its all one word. Males and females welcome! For more details, here is the link:

While fighting constantly can definitely be scary in a relationship, on average the couples that separate are those that don’t fight and just hold everything in. Furthermore, studies have shown that it’s really not important whether or not you fight, what really matters is your conflict resolution skills. As for whether or not it means your marriage is meant to be, the fact that you two are willing to put in the time and effort to go through counseling is often a very good sign. Finally, counseling works only works as much as you try to make it work, it’s all about working on problem issues and changing problem behaviors, all of which require a lot of effort. It’s also important to know that many couples find that therapy is only so successful because they often start it months after they should have so there is only so much that can be done. If you’re really considering that you may need therapy, you should probably look into it sooner rather than later.

yes it works if you are both willing to put in the hard work it takes..

I always hear the first few years are the hardest. It definitly has been hard for my husband and I. On top of the difficulty we had a surprise pregnancy. We love our son but that sure added stress!

I would definitly try counseling. If you truely love each other I would think that there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do to work things out.

Our 2 yr wedding anniversary is just over a month away.

My husband and I finally sat down tonight for a talk. I told him that I wanted him to calmly explain all of his frustrations and stressors wether I am the source of them or not. We both agreed to sit and listen to the other without getting offended or stand-offish. If we had something we wanted to say while it was the other persons turn we wrote it down and brought it up when it was our turn to talk. It sounds stupid but we learned alot about oursevles, each other and our marriage.

it’s better to get counseling before problems get worse….me and my husband been married for a year and we go to counseling and it helps alot it brings us closer in our marriage. there is nothing wrong with it try it out and see if it will help…Good Luck

Counseling certainly can work, IF you both want to be there.

Remember that the hardest time in many marriages is the first year – it’s common. Remember too, that males and females think differently – neither is wrong, just different. Instead of looking at the negatives, look at how the two meld together e.g. if both male and female talked as much as most women do, no-one would be heard, and nothing would be achieved.

If both sexes accept the way the other is, then marriage is a much easier place. If he wants sex every night and you want it every two weeks, there is room in the middle for compromise. If you don’t think he says romantic things to you enough, and he is a rough, tough type of guy, maybe you need to accept it isn’t going to happen. If he doesn’t talk much, maybe he needs to accept that you will talk more than him, and he should take part in it – just don’t overdo it!

Get the idea? Marriage is all about compromise.

No idea why two can live together having all the sex in the world, and getting on like a house on fire, but when they are married it turns to $$##@@. Only thing I can think of is if the guy feels he was pushed into marriage when he wasn’t ready, but other than that, I’m not sure.

Just (both of you) remember – compromise.

Also, work to each other’s strengths. As a generalization women are usually good at arranging the social calendar, taking care of the finances, working out the details of your holidays and where to go…. guys are good at the mechanical things, maintenance around the house etc., so don’t get him working on the details for your next holiday and you take over mowing the lawn and unblocking the drain….do what you both do best.

Life and love should be fun – lots of people over complicate it though. Good luck.

Edit:

You could also try the e-book at – it sure helped several couple friends who hit a rough patch in their marriages, with great success.