Some friends just celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary.
They seem very happy with each other… but who really knows?
Over the years in my practice and in my own personal life I’ve met a lot of people who stayed together in marrige for a long long time.
I’d have to say that these “long-time marrieds” fall into three categories.
1. Those who truly love each other and keep the fire of passion and interest alive. They are together because they truly want to be.
My parents were like that.
2. People who stay together because they think they should, it’s the right thing to do… but are either bored to tears with their marriage relationship or have turned it into something “irrelevant” like a form of hygiene, not particularly pleasant but not so terrible either.
3. People who truly don’t want to be together but are afraid of the consequences of breaking up.
Now I know people admire long marriages and celebrate the number of years like that is an accomplishment.
Personally options 2 and 3 are completely unacceptable to me… although I can see the values behind #2.
Number 3 seems like a dismal life.
Boldness in life is rare.
I say if you are going to be married give it all you have and turn it into a really great thing.
What’s the sense of being married if you don’t truly enjoy it or are miserable?
Convenience?
I think we can do better than that.
I believe in great marriage.
How about you?
To your great relationship future,
Dr. Max
Dr. Max Vogt is known as one
of America's top psychologists and
marriage counselors. His bestselling books, articles and programs have
been helping people have happy, successful marriages for over 25 years.
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