Nobody L asked:
1. “A rape victim never gets over her rape…no matter how much therapy/counseling she gets..no matter how many years gone by”
1. “A rape victim never gets over her rape…no matter how much therapy/counseling she gets..no matter how many years gone by”
What the hay? So when you’re raped it’s a death sentence? You can never get over it?
2. Can a rape change a woman for the GOOD instead of bad? Like a bad thing happens to you and you are changed for GOOD not bad. For example, your attraction base changes, you aren’t alone with guys anymore, you don’t touch them, and you make a conscious effort not to do anything they may take the wrong way.
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Kansieo.com
If you are strong enough (emotionally) you can get over a rape. Also, it can change your point of view for the better.
Kansieo.com
That Is not true!!
If you dwell on the past it will always loom around in your head!
but if you can releaize it was not you fault and move on, there is no reason to be unhappy forever.
And yes i think it might make you look at the way woman are so flirtasious now a days. And make us realize the actions we take!
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The only thing good that I can see that might come out of it is that your much more AWARE of things and your surroundings. In which that could be a good thing if you don’t get all paranoid about it.
Kansieo.com
1. yes a woman never gets over her rape…but she can learn to function and learn to live with it. someone has taken away the ONE thing a woman holds sacred and dear. that is for her to give to someone not for someone to take away!!! that doesn’t mean she can’t be happy!! you are looking at this with an all or nothing stance. it will always be with her and she will always be plagued with the horror of the event and the lack of trust, etc. but she can be happy and live a full life!! but she has to get the help that she needs!
2. she can choose to do good things inspite of the rape…as in help other victims…spread the word about rape…helping people with self-defense…etc. or just getting on with her own life as she would have before the rape!
3. but absolutely noone should have to go through such a horrible thing!! for any reason!!!
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1. As a victim…No you don’t just wake up one day and say “Glad that’s over” and move on with life. Therapy helps but you also have to help yourself. It has been over 10 years and small things still instantly take me back. I do not panic as much because I know I am safe. But it does strain your relationship when your husband in the middle of the night rolls over and pins you down with an arm and you have a panic attack. I can remember the night like it was yesterday. That will stay with me forever but time has cleared away most of the fear and it is just a part of my past now. I am a strong person and a fighter, I think if I was anything less it could have destroyed me.
2. I wasn’t alone with just the guy when it happened so being in a group doesn’t count for me. Attraction base didn’t change and my flirtatious behavior stayed the same. What did change is how far I would let a guy go. I learned how to protect myself and carried a gun in my vehicle which I knew how to use. It did make me question overt advances from guys. I never would leave with a guy but I was that way before =) I also have spoken out against guys who joke around about rape. It is a serious matter, not a joke.
Knowing it wasn’t my fault and that I did not bring this on myself helped me get past it. I am a stronger person today.
May you be blessed.
Kansieo.com
ok, its not that she never gets over the rape, its just that certain things, positions can bring flashbacks. when you get raped its traumatic for that person and it will stick w/ you for the rest of your life. and yes some people change for the better, you don’t trust people as much as you did before, no matter how long you have known them and no matter who they are. Another reason not to get over it is some women become pregnant or get a disease from the person who raped her and it is something she has to live with for the rest of her life now.
Yes, you change for the good bc now you know to be more careful, some even take self defense classes, others share the experience with other people to sort of warn them of their mistakes, but it all depends on their situation and how/why/where they were raped.
For me it was an eye opener, i trust people less and never go somewhere by myself and if i am alone like at work i have my pepper spray. I also intend to go into the police acedemy and help those who become victims of rape and make sure that justice is served!
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Both questions: it depends on the person who was raped.
1. There are some people who stay in victim mode and it wrecks their lives. There are others who get counseling and learn to cope. With lots of emotional work, over time they heal, and the rape becomes an aspect of their lives that happened, but it no longer holds power and terror over them. Depends on the person.
2. Again, depends on the person. A rape victim can react negatively (or negatively at first) or positively and make good or bad decisions after being raped. I think it depends a good deal on how the person was before the rape. Someone who was insecure might have a much harder time coping than someone who was stronger emotionally. If the person was one to take on a challenge, like when someone says, “Oh, you can’t do that,” it’s likely that person will fight the rape every step of the way and make great strides in healing.
It just depends how the person thinks and sees the world after the rape.
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People don’t get over violence done to them, whether it’s rape or non sexual assault. NO rape doesn’t change the victim for the better. If you really think it does, please get yourself attacked somewhere unexpectedly and see how you like it.
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